He came upon the murky mists
On a mellow morn in May
A man of mystery and twist
Meandered o'er our way
Methought he mad to make such haste
Mismatched he in the marsh
Yet on he marched with mammoth pace
Mouth set with grimace harsh.
Now mesmerized with intrigued mind;
What made he mazed in thought?
I marvelled how this man refined
Seemed muted and distraught.
Some grave mischief, vile words maligned
Mysterious deeds unseen?
It was an enigma what malice combined
To make his demeanor mean.
“Monsieur! Monsieur!” a meagre cry
Leapt from my cumbrous lips.
And in a moment, a blink of eye,
He’d gone, a human eclipse!
Author notes
I really love the sounds here.
I finally finished it dad!!! YEY!!!
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Whirr.
I really, really love this... Not a lot of people here can write form like you do. -
oh, amazing use of alliteration here, the meter slips here and there, but I think you know that... the poem is wonderful well put together by a master's hand... loved it, loved it.....
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I wish I could read it to you...you wouldn't even notice a slip of the meter!
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Interesting, cute, different!
Very nice rhymes and meter! I really can't tell the time period this reminds me of, but, it's an intriguing poem! I like it's seeming mystery and guile! Painted a strange picture of a strange man -- who is he? Good job!
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I love the sounds too. I wondered if the alliterations were on purpose, so naturally did they flow. The flow of the poem is in general remarkable...it reminded me a little bit of Poe's work, which maybe comes from the subject. For me it created a very similar effect, one that makes you first wonder, then see the pictures vividly in front of your inner eye, and then leaves you marvelling about the outcome of the whole thing with a slight smile. Well done, I enjoyed this read a lot!
Best,
Anna
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Liked the flow, rhythm and rhyme in these lines - enjoyed reading the comments below as well -
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It's funny how you said in your author notes that you love the sounds here because as i started reading I felt the same thing.
It's a captivating poem. I really enjoyed it.
you use of alliteration and rhyme seem so natural.
Nicely done
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So cleverly written. I love the last line so much I could eat it. Very nice flow and rhyme. Easily read and holds the readers' interest. You have a talent (if this is a true example of your work)in choosing just the right words for the last couple of lines in each stanza. Very nice. ~ Joyce
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I feel as if I've read this before. It is easily one of my favorites on AP thus far...
Wow. Just wonderful...
Blessings,
C
Call me daft
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Really? That is high praise indeed...but I did tell you so...
ya dafty... -
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Its just so, I'm not sure how to say it.
It just has that "IT" quality about it that I can't shake.
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Lemme help you... *shakes Demington*
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awosome!! is so cool good work...
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awosome!! is so cool good work...
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this is sooooo cool! I love the mystery and the intrigue within the words. Its just such a well penned work. It has the feel of real origonal poetry, like somthing I would find in a old book of famous poetry. Becasue It is not like every other poem on this site, it has character. thanks for sharing it with us.
Ps. I love your name, sounds almost like mine
regards,
~Arrianna MacEwan
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Cosmic!
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It's so beautiful!! It truly does take advantage of the beauty of language! You did a wonderful job.
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I love the sounds too! This was a pleasureable read and I look forward to reading more of your work. have a nice day!
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Hoot!
Mo, this is great! And a lot of work too. I love the sounds as well - you know me. This is just so clever and reading it is soooo much fun. Great job. Keep it going now, lol.
Love ya!
Dad
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