What is the best time to Mourn?
In the night, in the dawn?
As the sun creeps over clouds,
peaking coldly from the heavens
as it contemplates our fate..
Or as the sun drifts to night,
and purple hues take the sky,
ballerinas dance their last dance
before they too close their eyes.
Is it better when cold chills our bones?
Or when the warmth is hazy,
children dancing through the streets
on a summer's day.
On a winter night,
the trees whispering as we rest,
is it then that we should mourn?
Hiding from all things of this world, and perhaps..
Those not of it.
Darkness will overcome us,
No matter which we chose,
The demons in our minds far more powerful
than the dreams within our heads.
Is it best to scream it from the hilltops?
or sit upon the beach and cry,
seashells leaving indentions on our skin,
and the sun- our eyes.
Will they love us more if it's all in vain-
or scorn us for our stupidity?
Should we scratch their names in Lavender hearts?
And smile as though we are happy,
laugh along with the days jokes,
all the while choking on our tears.
With the sunshine at our backs
Will we have the strength to face a new day?
Or hide ourselves from our children
and what the paper might say.
Is this dismal desire, infinite and eternal?
everlasting as though a dream
Violin's serenading the last of our hopes
as we wish our lives away.
Give a hardy laugh,
as our tears we do hide,
sitting on false pedastools
with candy-colored eyes.
Will bloody tears satisfy
the lust that resides within them
A wish to feel our tradegy-
a wish to feel us fall apart.
So embrace your sorrow,
and cure their itch,
Mourn in the open, or in silence,
no matter the time of day
or the season of the year.
Wander through open fields,
and fall for a lovers kiss,
so long as not to let the shadows overcome you,
with their hateful gazes.
Don't sacrifice the light in your eyes,
for the tears that come at times,
Embrace them for what they are,
an ocean's spray, a volcanoes' ash,
whatever it may be.
Just don't lose yourself in this game of mourning.
Author notes
Danneh.
In a list
A contest entry
- Tick Tock Goes the Clock by bloodletter68.
300 points, ended October 25, 2007, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Round #1 (enter away) by takemypainaway.
390 points, ended March 22, 2008, 52 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Celebrating Gold by Cupcrazy.
1400 points, ended May 13, 2008, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - all HM winners! by Cat10.
850 points, ended May 19, 2008, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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thank you for entering! this was a very interesting piece, I really, really enjoyed reading it, you did a nice job, good luck!
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A lovely write, deep and contemplative. Very captivating work. Thanks for the great entry. Hugs, Bunny
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this is ver thought out and deep
i like it alot
thank you for entering
**kat -
Great write.
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very well thought out.
This piece flows very well.
I love all the vivid images...
and i especially love the lines-
"Is it best to scream it from the hilltops?
or sit upon the beach and cry,
seashells leaving indentions on our skin,
and the sun- our eyes."
great job! =]
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I Can Really Get Into && Understand This Poem =]
Great Job -
A hard thought piece of work. Thank you.
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Cool I liked this a lot. And it was so true.
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this was realy heart felt and beautiful i pertiulily liked the last paragraph
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Very interesting with a series of amazing images, the different plays of the sun and the temperatures in your phrases are masterfully composed.
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mourning is something one does, not out of choice but out of need. one cannot avoid grief any more than one can choose not to hurt when injured. the only way not to mourn is to shut off all feeling and become dead yourself. But you are right. there is also a time to stop mourning, just as there is a time when wounds heal. some wounds leave deep scars, so do losses. there will come a time when I will stop mourning for my niece, for example, but there will never be a day that I don't miss her.
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good stuff ...keep up the good work
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Wonderful Write!
I was drawn into this poem from the start. It is intense and keeps you wanting to read more. This is an incredible piece. I can relate to it very much. It is important for us to mourn but so true not lose ourselves. Life has much more to offer out there.. Debbie
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VERY GOOD
Mourning knows no season or hour of the day but your check list of scenes and times, done so beautifully, create vivid moods in the readers' minds. Enjoyed very much. -
very good poem!! you did a great and wonderful job with this poem!!!! I loved the way it was wriiten!! i loved the emotions in the poem!! loved every thing about it!! great job!!!!!
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amazing!!!
its funny how you brought up dancing
when my dad passed away or whenever i feel lossed
i go out dancing at sheter a club in nyc timmy regisford is amazing i feel as if i am in church
praising god.
i am absolutly sure this saved my life during the really tough times.
there is no specific time to mourn
somtimes its best to celebrate and dance for those whom we have lossed.
thank you for touching my heart.
candy
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I was a Ballerina for a few years, and it's nice to have something to revert to. I don't think humans would survive if we didn't have anything to revert to.
I'm glad I could reach out to someone. If I couldn't, what good would I be as a poet... I wrote this while mourning, not the death of someone, but someone leaving my life. It really hurt for a while, and then I realized sometimes we have to smile, or we'll lose ourselves as well
-Danneh<3
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Oh My! This poem has touched my heart.
I have been mourning my husband and it has been very difficult to get through (like it should be).
This is written so well and with so much beautiful imagery and metaphor.
Excellent message to those who mourn the loss of someone they love:
Don't sacrifice the light in your eyes,
for the tears that come at times,
Embrace them for what they are,
an ocean's spray, a volcanoes' ash,
whatever it may be.
Just don't lose yourself in this game of mourning.
This so beautiful and meaningful!
Thank You for sharing this very touching write.
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This has the wording of someone practiced at writing for many many years.You portray your imagry very well.Your message is one to be remembered and should be carried on through the generations.My hats off to you for writing such a fine piece of work.great job.
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"Darkness will overcome us
"Or as the sun drifts to night,
and purple hues take to the sky,"
Nice imagery! Very nice!
"Hiding from all things of this world, and perhaps..
Those not of it."
I don't really get what you mean..?
No matter which we chose,
The demons in our minds far more powerful
than the dreams within our heads."
You are so right! I could not have said it better myself!
"As we wish our lives away"
Haven't we all?
"Don't sacrifice the light in your eyes,
for the tears that come at times,
Embrace them for what they are,
an ocean's spray, a Volcanoe' ash,
whatever it may be."
This is a very uplifting ending to a poem that seemed really gloomy to me. It's inspirational, motivating and comforting!
I love how you've written this. It's a way of saying..embrace your feelings.
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"Hiding from all things of this world, and perhaps..
Those not of it."
The poem is about mourning..
Do we hide our mourning from those we know,
so much as we do the ones who died...
I'm glad you enjoyed.. I suppose as I was writing this, it was depressing me.. And sometimes, we do just have to embrace our feelings.. And face a new day, so that's what I wanted to convey.
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I love how you tie mourning in with the shift of day. Great opening question. Should we mourn as a child is born since it is his fate that he should die, or should we simply mourn when a body no longer breathes? I don't think this is an answerable question. But I do know this: there is a season for everything. There is a time to laugh, and a time to cry, a time to celebrate and a time to mourn. There is no schedule for these times, but we are confronted with it still in due time. Thank you for sharing this with me
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