Venting Session

Mother and her psychobabble about me being pathetic, useless, worthless and yaddayadda. Father yelling and bitching about food or something along those lines.

Getting bossed around by pathetic fools of parents. A cat screaming in my ear.

stomach yelling from lack of food...mind racing with the thought that if I am stronger than my father, I am stronger than my mother and brother.

That I am physically the strongest in this house - almost mentally, emotionally.

Constant bickering going on in my head that not even my pills can help.

Reeling thoughts of suicide [not the act of it, but seeing it] and the open gash on my wrist from work

Constant memories of times now gone - a once happy child, broken then rebuilt. A heart weeping inside due to longing feelings it so hard tries to hide. A younger brother who thinks he is everything and attempts to show his tough guy act through knives and daggers.

lack of friendships - cutting and erasing people from your life...leaving them in the dust after they clung to you to survive and you clung back

a desperation wave of sorrow and regret flooding you as you cling to "drift wood" for dear life; praying you've the strength to make it one more day

Constant fights and endless midnight screams; forsaken serenades

broken bones, bloody hands, stitches and bruises on a soul

utter confusion and disgust with what they've made you out to be

and a heart dwindling on the fact that you are the exact opposite

then you find a savior and cling desperately to her for dear life, praying that she doesn't let you fall

then that broken heart mends

and makes everything else...feel less as bad - she takes the pain away

and even though you're talking, you miss her more and more by the second...

then you realize that part of you beats within her and part of her beats within you and you smile - knowing regardless it will be fine


I feel like my heart is being whirlwinded aside by hurricane winds from maelstrom waters.