Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

A Dip In The Creek


A friendship strong as iron bands
could still be broken as easy as a twig
snapped from a beautiful branch

 

She's breathing her last breath  
and she can't say good bye
for she swung on that rope and fell in a creek
and she went for a dip with no second chances


Now she left her friend to weep tears like a mop
rung out tightly to spill on the floor

His heart is broken and he knows he will never forget her 

Author notes


I am 10 years old.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Dancing the Rumba
    December 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very sad
    I don't exactly like that book, but this poem is great!
    Vivien


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    December 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Sad, but good imagery to this piece. I think you did a good job of it and much enjoyed :D


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    December 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Absolutely beautiful!


  • Everwind Rising
    October 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, great! This is very thoughtful and wise. I haven't read the book but I have seen the movie. I like your use of similes. Wonderful.


  • TXCowgirl
    October 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love this! I love the sadness and lost love that you captured in so few of words and rhymne. I love the way it gracefully rolled off of my tongue as I was reading it. Along with the way it made me feel as if I was down by that creek watching everything happen as it unfolded. Best of wishes to you in your contest!
    ~TXCowgirl

  • BFLukas
    October 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I loved that book. Very Very nice poem and goodluck!!!

  • Ohh.Sunday
    October 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You're 9?! My gosh, when I was 9, I was too busy poking myself in the eye with my crayon to write something this good! Way to go!


  • James Barrett
    October 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Amazing..

    Are you really 9 years old? wow that is the best poem I have ever read by someone under 13.....wow

1 - 8 of 8