Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Gold~

 

 

 

Bought a great big diamond ring
Asked me for my hand
A big house in the suburbs
A matching wedding band

A fancy new jaguar
The color silver-gray
He told me that he loved me
That he would never stray

He flew around the nation
His job was always first
Had women by the dozens
Just to quench his thirst

I sat and waited for my man
Day after lonely day
"All that glitters ain't gold"
Is what the old folks say

 








 

A contest entry

Please be honest but be a teacher not a critic! Thanks!

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • leander Moderators member
    December 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Again, you got that wonderful rhythm captured within the lines with once more a great message as well wonderful job!
    Leander


  • Rosemary Stroebel silver member
    October 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Welcome to AllPoetry

    This is nicely written. It has good form and fluid flow. The rhyme scheme is unforced and the tale is something we all can connect with. Truly well written.

    Glad to have you here at AP and please feel free to contact me or any online Greeter if you need help here at AP.

    Let the ink flow and your fingers dance

    Rosemary


  • lexy23
    October 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    lol, this is clever. better than how i though it was going to turn out. the beginning sounded cliche but the ending was great. nice write xxx lexy xx


  • Nuage
    October 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I always like poems that rhyme, i can never write them. I like the way it's just long enough - makes it's point and elaborates without dragging.