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wildflower

 

 

 

she stands
in ancient soil
without horizon;
counts clouds above
her amber face and
chases winds from
Cohen
to the sea.

her petals sway
to drops that beat
beneath an open
sky,
a field once
white with poppies
gathered close
for hollow heat

 

but nature turned-
it shifted her
with dreams
of cleaner warmth
to come

not promises
like those she

never spills herself,
               [ as lightly as
                      her breath ]

 

but those that
speak of deeper grace
no matter
that she grows
so wild.

in truth her strength

abides within because

she is so free

 

to wait on a butterfly's

patience ...

 

but it was granted before

she ever asked.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Zayra Yves gold member
    October 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    love this...

    it is well done!


  • MuddyKing Moderators member
    October 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    excellence is rare

    agrees with everyone...beauty
    the fourth stanza got me
    it made me look to the meaningful side

    grace indeed

    peace and hugs
    Muddy


  • Jaden silver member
    October 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I always like your endings-- really fine resolution here that ties everything together. Good job.


  • LuzAradia gold member
    October 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I thought you wove this with wonderful imagry. You make theses short lines flow perfectly and brought a lot to this piece. Great Job!


  • Wildequill
    October 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Vibrant images, filled with colourful intrigue. Enjoyed the clear simplicity and digestible format.
    Dern, if your men could just play rugby as well as you write...!


  • NurseChilly gold member
    October 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ahem... okay

    smiles

    real nice big smiles

    Leonard ... well, yes, he does have a certain way and those wild flowers grow with such.... grace

    this is --- beautiful

    the dog's bollocks as we say over here...


  • ardentMarch gold member
    October 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "in truth her strength
    abides within because
    she is so free
    to wait on a butterfly's
    patience ..."
    Beautiful poem, beautiful imagery in every stanza




  • Cat gold member
    October 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    oh my gosh..... this is stunning.. just beautiful

    m


  • Suzanne Dia gold member
    October 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply


    The first and second stanzas have a really really cool tempo to them even without rhyme. You picked up a rhythm, that even though it slows towards the end, is really, really nice. 'so free' ..much better. That felt clipped before.

    Those last two lines are very personal (ahem, if you cut them I'm slapping your hand..yes, I am.)

    So yes, they are personal, but with a really cool feeling of intimate conversation, which is really quite fitting with the rest of this and with what I asked for from this contest.







  • Suzanne Dia gold member
    October 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply


    See, this is nice.
    From someone who clearly knows why I love Cohen so much well, aside from the fact he is downright brilliant, and a hard working poet, he has the one song I love with my name in it.

    Ah..yes, wild






1 - 11 of 11