summer shadows its
light fleeting to yesterday
full of glow moon beams
In a list
A contest entry
- 5-7-5 Haikus by Saaara.
400 points, ended October 10, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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images and more images wonderful
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When I read this, I was like, "okay?" I'm not a huge fan of haikus because I prefer to read poems that are longer than three lines. I give you huge props though for being able to write them!
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awesome job! haiku is a difficult form - nice job not 'wasting' syllables. each word here has a purpose. Thank you for sharing this.
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Wow...
I'm not much for haikus but this one truly is great! -
Reall good. I love Haikus. Excellent decription.
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Nice imagery. I just did a contest where I had to write 21 haikus on the same plant and make them different. WOW they can be a challenge for such few syllables.
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Perfect Fit
I loved this and I am aware that everyone has a right to their own opinion, but a fat man in slim jeans? I think that man just lost a lot of weight and those jeans fit perfect now. I LOVED THIS -
I find it almost impossible to read linearly, and it is uncertain where one should put the punctuation when reading it, but I kind of like it. There's a lot of reversal of expectations, which is appropriate for a haiku. You put 'glow' before 'moon', for example, which is interesting. I read it the other way around the first couple of times. Then I realized what it really was, and now I find myself pausing after glow. It does convey a general sort of Fall feeling.
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Haikus are really hard for me to do cuz I can never get to the point. Your's was well done and nice. It's a sweet poem.
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seems forced like a fat man trying to fit into slim jeans
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i like the feel you brought out of this haiku
me and haikus don't get along but i love them so though. especially when expressed well -
Nicely done, evocative and a pleasure to read. 5/7/5 seems to me to be the usual form for (English) haiku so you are right on the money.
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Nice. I like the mood of the poem. Haikus are hard to write. Kudos!
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Nice job
It reminds me of not only of seasons but changes in ourselves as well.
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^-^
Very nice. I can never do a decent haiku myself so, I'm extremely impressed. XD
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thanks
I haven't done one in a while and seems to get harder if I don't do more often. Thanks for the wonderful sentiments given. Haley27
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