You always came first

I forced you to throw up those pills.

Because suicide isn't the way.
Thats what I told you.

I told you to fight.

You said nobody cared.
I told you that I did.
Would I have been crying that night, if I didn't?

You said nobody loved you.
I lied to you.
And told you I did.
Just to save your life.

Just to see you live another day.

And it would always be the same.
I would be holding your life in my hands.
One foot wrong,
And we would both lose.
One foot wrong,
and everyone would lose.

Did I have choice?

I told you I loved you.
I told you I cared.
Just to see you live.
Just to see you throw up the poison.
To stop you turning to the drink.

I made you promise.
I watched you break them.

You wanted me to
You wanted me to.

You wanted to know I cared.

And soon you were making the promises all on your own.
Just to see me break when you broke them.

And I began to believe that you broke them just to hurt me.
Just to check that I cared.
But I pushed those thoughts aside.

Because your life,
and making sure you kept it.
Always came first.