The Voyage Explained
What whales belly did Jonah sit
Or was it his insipid wit?
Perhaps he was caustic endowed
Or perhaps a might too proud
One must walk between the pillars
Or the identity fools the tiller
Amusing will not always flank
It often makes you walk the plank
So be ye hearty me hearty
But do not sail the ship of party.
Use your time and your mind
Seek you well and you shall find
The glories of a brand new day
The crystal dew that shows the way
The effervescence of your sense
Flense the blubber and condense.
Use the oil to light the bend
It will serve you till the end.
Author notes
Written October 6th, 2003
A contest entry
- October New Members- "Chin Up" Poetry Contest - Hosted by The AllPoetry Greeter Staff by CookieZeal.
300 points, ended November 3, 2003, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Awww.. very good job, Sy. I do like this one a lot.
Good luck in the contest
Dee -
I like this very much... it's well written, great metaphors, nice easy flow.
A very enjoyable read, Sy
Welcome to all poetry and good luck in the contest
Dee -
I like the form and flow of this poem, it's a quick read because it flows so well but it does take a few reads to comprehend it as it should be understood I think...I am happy to welcome you to AP, I feel that you will be a great poetic asset within the site with talent such asyou have displayed here...GOOD LUCK!!!
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Very nice job on your use of metaphors and rhyme. Good luck in the contest, and welcome to AP
Gypsy -
I agree metaphors are our friends, it took me a couple of rethroughs on seprate days, but I fianlly caught the meaning I think so anyway, sometimes I can be such a clod..
good luck in the contest.
peace be with & blessed be;
shaggy wolf
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weird and wonderful, I like.
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Metaphoric heaven - and rhyme too - I love poems to rhyme - but most of mine do so I can relate easily.
A great entry for our contest - good luck
~Von~ -
I am all for metaphors so Me loved this piece, was quite well portrayed and layed out, so kudos for that
Lakota x -
I enjoyed this, and I'm generally a fan of rhyming poetry. It's good as is, but the metre seemed a little off throughout the piece. I'm a bit of a stickler for metre, so feel free to ignore me.
You've got a good piece here, and as CookieZeal says, this uses some wonderful metaphors. -
The metaphors you use are more obvious here, and I'm glad that you gave it a second try!!! Good for you.
Also, if you'd like, you can go to the first one and delete it from the list. It will keep things from getting confusing for readers and you.
Thank you for pressing in. I like it's meaning.
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