Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Secrets in the Fog [Tanka Chain]

Missing image

Blue mountains; blue skies

What lingers in the blue fog?

Is it peace and love?

Perhaps the fog is evil

Secrets in the fog below

.

Clear springs with blue fog

Chilling shivers down our spines

Witches and warlocks

May be casting evil spells

Secrets in the fog below

.

Mountains; clear waters

Blue enchantment fills the air

Within the waters

May live beautiful mermaids

Secrets in the fog below

.

Blue mountains; blue skies

What lingers in the blue fog?

Is it peace and love?

Perhaps the fog is evil

Secrets in the fog below

Author notes

Pic Prompt

TANKA:
A Tanka is a variation of Haiku, it is a five line poem using syllables, 5,7,5,7,7


A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12
  • EmeraldDaze
    October 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think you use blue too much, I know that the whole pic is blue, but maybe you can use synonyms for blue. Other than that this was a good poem.


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    October 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    My Angel ♥

    I love this write I thought you saw that it was words not lines ... but no harm it is still stunning and beautiful ... I know it's based on the Picture but since you now live at the Blue Mountains in Sydney I can't help but think they also helped you

    BEST of luck in the contest baby
    Stay safe
    I love you
    ~Manda


    • Poetic-Theorem silver member
      October 9, 2007

      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Angel,
      Yes, the Aussie Blue Mountains was an inspiration as well. too bad i misread the rules. i liked the poem so much that I decided to keep it rather than editing it to 20-40 words instead of 20-40 lines.

      Thank you for the sweet comments love



      David


  • Arizona Sunset
    October 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    although misread, this is beautiful and wonderful, and that in itself is gold! amazing my friend...best to you in the contest


    • Poetic-Theorem silver member
      October 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the kind comments...need to pay closer attention to simple rules
      Kinda funny
      I'm a math instructor and tutor and I misread the rules
      David


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    October 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Awesome chain.
    I thought about doing a tanka chain
    But.. reading the contest lead me to believe this was 40 words tops.

    Anyways I really enjoyed reading this.


  • Riftkin gold member
    October 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this chain is awesome poet
    and it was a great read

    Riftkin


  • delightfulmess silver member
    October 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh this was spectacular.... Love this piece
    But.... I asked fot it to be 20-40 words.
    This is soooooooo good I cant believe you came up with
    this in such a short time thank you for this
    and is definately worth my applause.


    Delila


    • Poetic-Theorem silver member
      October 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Delila
      Thank you for the very sweet comments.
      Silly me...I misread the rules
      I glanced at it so fast and thought it said 20 - 40 lines, which gave me the idea for a Tanka Chain.

      I can edit the tanka chain easily to fit the 20-40 words if you like
      Take care,
      Much love,

      David

  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    October 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wooooo Hoooooo, indeed
    Best of luck!

1 - 12 of 12