Your magic spell is broken,
My immortal soul is not lost.
Though your dirty mystic manner,
Consumed my fears with fire.
The ashes, now, lay strewn by shallow screams,
Scarred like roses left in the snow.
The shadows of the stones you threw,
Stripped me to my raw emotions.
Envy never healed the droplets of red,
As they splashed into rainbow crystals of frost.
Chilled by your fatal whispers,
Black with your grim curse.
But still....I will rise like a Phoenix over these ashes,
White and glorious above your sorrow ladened blade.
Author notes
magic, broken, immortal, lost, mystic, dirty, fear, fire, ashes, screams, scarred, roses, shadows, stones, strip, emotion, envy, heal, droplets, red, splashed, crystals, rainbow, whispers, grim, black, curse, Phoenix, white, blade, sorrow
A contest entry
- Stretch Yourself... by Sincerely.
700 points, ended October 30, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Picture Prompt or Word Bank by Manda Kathryn.
450 points, ended October 22, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Hoodwinked!
When I saw that title I immdiately went straight for this piece. This piece is very strong and powerful, and the sadness is there too. my favorite line (although it loved the whole thing) would have to be 'But still....I will rise like a Phoenix over these ashes' it was beautiful. And this piece has a personal affect on me also, for my name is PhoenixFaith. And I believe you have written a beautiful piece here, keep it up.
Always write from the heart
Never give up
Kate
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Hood-Winked!
I really loved the sadness and strength of this poem - beautifully written an a joy to read - very emotive and a wonderful flow and rhythm (especially from a wordbank!) - well done
Keep writing
Polly
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This is gorgeous! I would have never known it was from a word bank! So full of great wording, images and emotions. And I loved you title, too. I liked all of your lines, but especially,
'But still....I will rise like a Phoenix over these ashes,
White and glorious above your sorrow ladened blade.'
This is beautiful!!
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This Is Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!
You did a marvelous job with this from the wordbank!!! I loved it all and the messaged detailed inhw we can rise again like the Phoenix over the ashes of our lives to the place where we soar up to the heavens so close to God that it seems we are actually with him, flying around him worshipping him as nothing makes him happier than when we praise and worship him. Great Job once again, thanks for sharing your gift of writing with me!!!~~Toni~~
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You are so sweet, Toni! Thank you very much and I agree, nothing makes God happier than when we praise and worship him. Have a great day.
BLESSINGS, Doris
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you did this whith ease
the word bank
it was an awsome poem
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After all... I feel the towering strength of the rise of the Phoenix as it soars above the 'ashes'. Hugs Lib x x
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i liked this write, was drawn to the title. nicely done
good luck xx
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Thnak you for your entry =]
G'day Spiritual Nature
A most treasurable write. So beautifully penned and gracefully flowing down the page
Excellent!
Thank you for putting the words from the word bank in the authors notes
Best of luck in the contest
Stay safe
~Amanda
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Wow...
a word bank produced this masterpiece?
You go, girl! LOL
Very, very well done!
I love the image also...
Your ink leaps tall buildings in a single bound!
Blessings! Tammy
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An emotionally charged write. The imagery is captured well in your words. You have woven the emotions and imagery together so well throughout this write. Thank you for sharing. Good luck in the contest.
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Word bank...lame...
I would go through this bad boy and think outside the box some... (I love it as a start, but we're trying to delve here. Find your inner, emotional yearnings and such)
Take the sentences that sound cliche and rethink them...this could be so cool...
For instance (and don't you dare write this)
Stripped me of my raw emotions. becomes 'id and ego scattered to the tides [crashing below-calling above]'
It's good now--I'm not saying that it's not (trust me. It's good. I love you for who you are) but I think you can reach so much more if you scratch out as much of the word bank as is humanly possible and write the turmoil in mental pictures
I see greatness (please don't chew me out for destroying your creative genius. These are just thoughts and I lack all subtlety)
Much Love. -
Wow,
A very emotional piece that draws the reader in with your indepth imagery you weave so powerfully! Thanks for sharing, peace, Timothy
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