Hope you haven't forgotten
That were still in that summer ride
This time the speed is lowered
But our bodies will still collide
You kissed me on my collarbone
Then sucked on my erect breast
I rubbed some of the oil
On your rippling chest
I moved onto your back
Giving it an oil rub
You whispered in my ear
Did I want to go to the tub
Candles were lit
And temperature still hot
You rubbed my body with the sponge
Not forgetting any spot
We began to kiss each other slowly
It was as if we were addicted
If that was a crime
Then we would be convicted
We traveled to the bed
You laid me on my back
Then you kissed up and down my body
Giving my gold mine a smack
I smiled with pleasure
That I haven't ever reached
I looked at you in wonder
How could ecstasy like this be taught
Cause things like this can't be bought
With my legs around your neck
Your snake entered my cave
After a night like this
My soul would need to be saved
Taking it nice and slow
In and out would you go
I let out a satisfied moan
As I listened to you pleasingly groan
After we came we went to the bathroom counter
To have some more fun
I wrapped my legs around your waist
We were oblivious to the rising sun
We rode taking things slow
Gradually speeding up while I sucked on your neck
Our climax came next
And my body was hexed
We had the best orgasmic shower
I lied on your chest to hear your heart beat
You smiled at me and we both knew
This summer night was nowhere near through
A contest entry
- EROTICA CONTEST - UNDER 18 ONLY by risewiththesmoke.
669 points, ended November 1, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Wow this is very good too. I love the simpleness of your poem here again.
~K~
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Some verses in this I like - i.e. I love the first verse, how-ever others seem a little unreal - as in things wouldn't normally happen that way.
i.e. I don't like the line "giving my gold mine a smack", it just seems kind of odd, or something.
then again maybe some words don't have the same weight or direct meaning where-ever your from to where I'm at.
I think the write would benefit from being proofread as well - just littler things like "were" should be "we're" and what-not. And if you read this aloud you'd probably end up shifting a few words around.
(I don't mean to be heavy with the criticism, I just think this poem has potential but isn't quite there as yet).
Cheers,
=> Jess
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nice rhyme, thanks for entering
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Thats amazing!sexualy delightfull!
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awwwww im tellin on youuuuu
naw j/p lol this is hott good luck even tho im in the contest too lmao j/p -
I completely love it! I WANT MY LOVER!
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I like this, it kida remids me of a poem I oce wrote
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i like this very good beat
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