Crashed;
The ground shakes beneath
the feet of pristine characters,
and visions of clouds
are restored under violet lights
that ebb onto cracked soil.
Waiting,
a barrage of winds
blind eyes of the
cannonade, burning
timber trees to dust and ash.
Silenced are the voices
who sinned and carried
heartless guilt;
now lone prisoners
wandering an endless desert
to find forgiveness in
this empty landscape.
Deceived the hunted earth,
defied behind nature;
suffering the bound
sands of solemn time
that shift in the home of
dusty meadows.
Hills of the valley
are set to a sorrel blaze,
trapping smoke on the horizon
where heated drought
on a desolate field
intimidates the cry of man.
Author notes
Prompt 3 - Thunderstorms
Salt Therapy Kerri!
A contest entry
- I need.... poems.. by Amorous Arms.
450 points, ended November 17, 2007, 63 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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To be honest it didn't really hold my attention. I understood the poem and what it was about, but it didn't keep me WANTING to read it. But thank you for entering my contest!!!
Megan -
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Well we all have different tastes. I'll just remove myself and you'll not have to worry about me.
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loved the imagery. wonderful write. best of luck =]
~Ali -
This grabbed my attention and kept me riveted! Your imagery is excellent in this...makes me think of the end of the world.
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this was great! you gave a very vivid picture. i loved it!
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this seems apocalyptic to me. very descriptive! well penned!
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I was just thinking, completely different subject, but it does remind me of my poem, "Burnt," check it out and see if you agree.
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I agree with one reviewer, it is beautiful but disturbing. Very.
Smile,
Judy
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Absolutely beautiful in a disturbing way. I love the phrase "intimidates the cry of man."
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From the start the title caught my attention. The imagery continued to be good throughout the poem, creating good pictures. I love the third stanza, especially "silenced are the voices who sinned and carried". The ending stanza is nice too.
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Wow, beautiful imagery throughout, quite loved the tone and awesome mental images while reading... your sensory could use a bit of a touchup but thats it. Quite enjoyed the asymmetricality of the stanzas, worked quite well in my humble opinion. Overall, great write ^^
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Wow Kerri this is such a great poem honestly i loved all the metaphors it was really mind-blowing. Great Job on this
Especially the LINES:
Hills of the valley
are set to a sorrel blaze,
trapping smoke on the horizon
where heated drought
on a desolate field
intimidates the cry of man.
LOVED IT!!!
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