The castle walls loomed high above,
Foreboding shadows lie.
Echoes fill the empty halls,
Where ancient spirits pry.
My footsteps ring out loud and true,
My breath before my face.
A shiver travels up my spine,
My heart begins to race.
Upon the wall, I see a man,
Cast blue by moonlit sky.
He beckons me to come to him,
From battlements on high.
I take the stone steps two by two,
To greet this waiting man.
Transparent in the moonlit haze,
And so his speech began.
Why do you walk these halls by night?
A shadow man expired.
Your journey ended long ago,
Your body long retired.
I’ve come to help you rest in peace,
He said with hand on heart.
It saddens me to see a soul,
Too tortured to depart.
You’re wrong I said, its you who’s dead,
I see through where you stand.
He shook his head and then he said,
I know, please understand.
The choice is yours, believe or not,
For you now to decide.
Walk these halls forevermore,
Or face the fact you died.
Within my heart, his words rang true,
Shot down in war, I fell.
Have I walked these halls so long?
Denying death so well?
I take his hand to bring me peace,
Embrace what I deny.
So blind was I, for far too long,
I bid this world goodbye.
Author notes
I love performing this one, always gets a collective gasp from my audiences.
My producer also recorded me performing it for my Gothic Tales CD & added sound effects for atmosphere, sounds awesome. To hear it, go to http://www.archive.org/details/DeathAndDenial
In a list
A contest entry
- Zoo of the Supernatural (NEED MORE ENTRIES!) by Shahrazad.
700 points, ended October 18, 2007, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES ONLY- For people with NO gold trophies by TwilightDazzles.
525 points, ended November 20, 2007, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1014 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My one year birthday fantasy bash! by Dark Otter.
1000 points, ended January 22, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ghost/Horror Story, NO RULES, PREWRITES ALLOWED. Have fun!:) Held by a 11 year old! by Daisy Ballerina.
565 points, ended January 8, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Scare My Pants Off! by XxLoverOfDarknessxX.
1225 points, ended August 29, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Supernatural by DeathuponTyne.
550 points, ended September 22, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - *PIF* Hauntings, Ghosts, Scary, Funny, Halloween by Mystic-Fire.
800 points, ended October 6, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ghosts by Judith Chandler.
690 points, ended November 8, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 43 of 43
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WOW! this was awsome
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Have you traced your family tree? Is Poe in your Pedigree?
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Damn, this is so BRILLIANT!
I felt this piece in a way I haven't felt a poem in a while, especially after listening to your entrancing audio of it. I love the rhythm in this. You are an incredibly gifted human being. Your words display the gift of a sixth sense that so strongly exists in you. You really captured what an earthbound ghost must feel like in death. The intense cloud of confusion that they find themselves in somewhere in between is what keeps them here, entrapped until they come to the realization that they have died. I can imagine many souls wandered around battlefields this way until someone helped them to look beyond the fractured remnants of their life and death. Sometimes, all it takes is a trained parapsychologist, or someone who is just naturally gifted as you are. Although, I'm not as intuitive as you are, I hope to be again one day.
I'll bet this was a chilling performance. I would love to see your stage performances one day. Congratulations on all the well-deserved trophies!
Thanks for letting us know about Pastel's computer troubles. I can relate to that. I'm on a library computer, because mine is a piece of shit.
I'm getting a new one in March, though. Can't wait.
Don
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My brother I love this! You are so wonderful at these dark ghostly writes...just spine tingling!
U!!!
Az
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Enjoyed this ghost story with metaphysical aspects. Thank you for entering and congrats on your trophies.
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Nicely done
I love this in audio!! Thanks for sharing and entering this into my contest! It has great flow and rhythm which was displayed wonderfully in the audio. You tell a great story with your words here and excellent imagery!!
Best of luck in my contest and thank again for entering!! -
absolutely fantastic! I love your poems and it is all the better in audio. Well done and good luck!
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WOW. This was really good! I loved it! I agree with your previous comment below that this had great rhyme and flow; the picture goes perfectly with the poem. Your imagery was amazing as well as your emotions. BRAVO! WOW! WELL DONE! keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!
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great rhyme and flow. The image fits the write well also. Thank you for the entry. I enjoyed reading it and feel it was well done.
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Wow, this is quite spooky! I wonder how it sounds like when you perform it! =)
That is great rhyming and rhythm. I really liked it that the ghost didn't know it was dead and thought that everyone else was dead. Finally he will rest in peace. I also liked the last line, bidding the world goodbye. So sad.
Good luck in the contest! =D
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I've read this before, I recognise it, and I love love love LOVE it [as you already know!]
Straight to the finalists list for me - it doesn't need any more comment than that!
*hugs* -
I came back to this because I saw you were in Dark Otter's contest, and once again it gives me a delicious thrill! Terrif work, Fritz, I must say. You do have such a way with this genre. . .
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Brilliant piece! perfect meter and rhyme.
It'd be fun to see you perform it!
KW~
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Very good!
Keep it up!
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Damn Fritz!
You nailed this one. I've written one similar to this in the past and enjoyed the concept that you used for yours. What an awesome ghost story! All the elements are there in some pretty decent rhyme. Well done, poet.
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OH, WOW! What an incredible piece! I loved the twist to the tale. This actually gave me shivers......
I could see the scene you set clearly in my mind as I read..... very vivid and atmospheric. I love the emotion that played throughout, of denial and then acceptance.
Outstanding.
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wow, poet. This I LIKE. Your rhyming is fantastic. And the story. . .oh I love this kind of thing. . .amazingly written, poet.
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What a wonderful poem!
Applaud-applaud-applaud!
you un-raveled the story so beautifully
and we felt the awe and mystery!
so beautifully you spoke her soulful destiny!
loved it!
what a wonderful poem!
ears/Seattle
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This is amazing and I love the picture so haunting. Wonderful imagery and emotions what a wonderful poem to read on a dark and spooky night. Thanks for sharing. hugs Theresa
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Wow!
This is very intense with a great twist. A good one for this time of the year. I have one I just wrote about my house that you have inspired me to post here. Great poem. It kept me enthralled all the way. A little sad too; but very cathartic. Thank you Fritz!
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Wow this is excellent!!! I can't describe how great this piece is. ITS FABULOUS!!! Its almost like reading a story. Your stanzas are perfect your words lovely. I LOVE IT!!!
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Great imagination
Takes you on a darkened journey. Great write.
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This is excellent, flows really well, and the rhyming doesnt feel forced at all. Worthy of the spotlight! sj
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wow amazing poem! I really liked it it has a really nice flow!
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wow, brilliant piece, no wonder you're in the spotlight and have silver attached to this piece. I really liked the picture you used, fantastic! And I adored the way you have written with it. Your words are woven with images created by your descriptions as well as the image of the prompt popping in every now and again. Fabulous piece and well done!!
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Wow what a fantastic poem / short story
Eerie tale of the ghostly haunting of a man who never wished to leave this world ..
For some reason these two lines hit hard
Your journey ended long ago,
Your body long retired...
I awe in your darkness of words and the story you have painted here
Best wishes fine poet
Julie
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Oh my goodness, this should have won GOLD in all the contests you entered it in; how skillfully you told the tale - i am jealous of this writing [lol] and will certainly check out more of your poems for this is simply amazing!!!
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Wow, this was the most amazing ghost write I have ever read. It kept me reading until the last line. The ending was a definite surprise. Totally unexpected. The rhyming was meticulous and flowed naturally. Very well done and deserving of your trophies, although I personally feel you should have won gold. Your friend in Poetry, Mysty Rain
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This was an awesome read .I well enjoyed it
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amazing
this was truly beautiful! no other words can describe this piece....it took my breath away. should have been gold!!
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An eerie walk
a scary tale, intrigue you weave
embraced each every word.
deaths deadly door, appears so near
froze life in time I've heard.
I walked the halls, I feel your steps
footprints can wake the dead.
death cloaks a truth, denies old lies
buried deep in whats bin said.
rudolf
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Perhaps add an extra syllable for tighter meter?
The choice is yours, believe or not,
For you now to decide:
[To pace] these halls forevermore,
Or face the fact you died.
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Wooow. I really loved this piece. Such good flow and well controlled rhyme. Good rhythm and imagery too. Interesting concept and little twist. So well written. Amazing! Good luck and congrats on the previous rewards. Much deserved.
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Really great perspective, very different and creative, gives a creppy feeling, one of those thought-provoking classic horror twists with a good rhyme.
Well done.
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That was really good. Good lcuk on thecontest
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ooooh....not scarey as a ghost story, but absolutely stunning to read!!! your imagery is marvelous, your poem rhymes and flows beautifully! sad, very sad, I felt like crying for the ghost in denial, but just wow..I can't say enough good things about this!!!
Thanks for sharing,
Luck. -
How did I miss this little gem.
I love this Fritz, I don't
think I have ever read anything
quite like it.
I did a lot of research on life after
death/earthbound ghost.
And from what I read of first hand
accounts from people who have seen
the dead, from mediums, psychics etc..
And from my own haunting experiences
I find this especially intriguing.
It's an enthralling write,
one I could read over and over!
Congrats on the shiny!
Well deserved!
Love this!
~Pastel
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Promising but a final proof-read would not go amiss.
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Congrats on the silvers!
Very well deserved, this is chilling and gripping. Well written!
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The rythm to this is perfect and the descirptive nature is wonderful. A worthy silver to my lowly honorable mention.
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Ohhh spooky, I do like this!!! I am not going to lie I groaned when I saw that it was on the longer side (because my attention is easily diverted), but you captivated me throughout, I wanted more. Thank you for your entry and I wish you the best in the contest
And thanks for following the rules!
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I absolutly loved this... I hung on to every word anxious to hear what would happen next. This was a wonderful work of poetry! Excellent write. Thanks for entering it in the contest!
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gripping!
This is a very compelling ghost story you've got here! i love the last stanza it adds a well thought out twist in it! you should've stayed in my contest. This was very well done!
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