I wish I could capture your soft and sensual scent
That resides on your skin
With a cork and a bottle.
So that when it is time for me to return home
The car ride won’t feel so lonely and empty.
And when it is time for me to rest my head.
I will uncork the bottle and let your scent spill
Enveloping my pillows and sheets
There will be no nightmares
When my dreams are composed by the scent of you.
Author notes
"First love never dies"
A contest entry
- Anatomy lesson #8 by MissStranger.
600 points, ended October 11, 2007, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comment me and Ill comment you!
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
Love it!
Very sensual and sweet at the same time. Favorite lines, So that when it is time for me to return home
The car ride won’t feel so lonely and empty.
Congratulations on the Gold. If I may offer a couple of wording suggestions on your opening lines, I wish I could capture your soft and sensual scent
That resides on your skin...
I wish I could capture the soft, sensual scent
that resides on your skin (avoids repeating the pronoun your and deletes "and") to tighten it. Not that it isn't good enough now. What do you think?
-
i only smelled him once, and it lingers with me always. congrads on your win
-
Congratulations on the gold trophy and it is evident why it received it. Such aromatic thoughts of love spilled forth on the page and left me in a dream as I watched the images float through my mind. Short and succinct you filled the page with very few words. Thank you for sharing this one with me and keep writing poet.
seamaiden ♥
-
Very lovely! Sounds like a powerful romance. Good poem!
-
wow
a little short but perfectly written. you captured so well in a few word what many people can't do in hundreds. excellent piece.
love,
xxundeadxtearsxx(sam) -
This is really sweet. I often wish that I could do this as well. If I had the scent of the one that I love near my pillows as I slept my dreams would be much less dark and much more rewarding. Great write.
-
very nice
The words are simple yet powerful. The message is true. Very nicely written.
-
i like...
hows its really simple
-
wow...simplicity and sincerity were combined in their finest forms and the result is such a lovely poem...congrats on the gold!!!
-
oh,while I was reading it once again I noticed that you forgot to put a QUOTE that defines you in the author's notes box. as it is one of the rules I must ask you to do so to make it fair.
-
-
Im sorry but what does that mean exactly?
-
-
write in the AN box a quote that you like or that you think it defines you....something like a motto
-
-
Thanks! Im sorry I didn't get my quote in the box on time. Im glad that didn't hinder me from winning. But I totally did it now!
-
-
-
-
3xBRAVO
my words are useless!I will applaud this in absolute silence...
-
i know this feeling so well!!!! and you did an awesome job capturing it. it's that annoying longing that you feel for someone when all of a sudden, at the most random, inconvient time, you smell the scent that is distinctly theirs. Great poem! keep writing.
love,
me ♥
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
