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Almost faded memories -







it was in a morning
when the empty space
on your side of the bed
resembled a broken shadow
and no longer a special spot

when the scent of your
aftershave faded from the pillow
and from everything else

that reminiscent thoughts
of seeing your presence
filling the hollow of your absence
had ended

and just as I was about to turn off
the lights on you
I realized your memories will never
stay in the dark








Author notes

Thanks Renee (poetryality) for the inspiring prompt

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16
  • voices
    March 14

    Edit | Reply
    much to think about
    my words will only clutter
    except...
    this is sweet

    i like bitters


  • Delicate Fire Water
    December 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this piece was so easy to virtualise. It was well written, thank you so much for your entry, and good luck in the contest,

    All the best,

    *Stephi* *rose

  • rebeka
    November 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    there is a sadness here and an acceptance. our past..those people and things made us who we are, better for the journey. your heart is so full of love and kindness, it is very evident in your poetry...no wonder that moxie-drinking fellow adores you so
    wonderful poetry Mari


  • hugh wyles silver member
    October 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Mi querida hija,

    Memory is not always affected by the absence or presence of light but I find that my own thoughts and memories are sharpened in darkness when I am not distracted by light or sight.
    I hope that the aftershave which I use in the morning, doesn't infuse my pillow by bedtime at night or I'd be in trouble with Edna who is very sensitive to smells!
    Having said all that, this poem is beautifully worded and expresses nostalgic sentiments nobly.
    Applause, love and hugs, XXX El Padre,


  • Utok Bulinaw
    October 19, 2007

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    Although the beginning speaks of sorrow, the ending lines carry a flame of hope that burns for always. Hugs, Rhona


  • Peteskid gold member
    October 14, 2007

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    this is a wonderful poem done with alot of skill and creativity, wonderful imagery, and the nuance of the words gave rightful pause...to consider; i will certainly look for more,...PK


  • klassy lassy
    October 10, 2007

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    The memories (cherished) that never stay in the dark are the ones which flame all on their own. They speak and echo like bells in the heart to bring us home. Turning a light switch off just leaves them blazing in the dark. Lovely, Mari.


  • pandora ink
    October 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful, Mom.

    "resembled a broken shadow
    and no longer a special spot"

    I love it. But I love you more!

  • Just4u
    October 9, 2007

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    life is dual and hence a series of good and bad moments
    entwined to make up what is the complete person. At times we wish we could separate them, keeping only the good, but my friend, perfection can not grow and so it is good that we are flawed so we may love and change and grow with each passing moment for how boring would like be without the gift of change.


    Sun and moon blend
    complimentiing contrasts
    two sides, one coin

    Hugs...Eddy


  • leander Moderators member
    October 9, 2007

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    Well someone should be very lucky (and proud) with this magnificent poem dear mommer such a sentimental piece this is, full of love and devotion actually well done!


  • Yemassee silver member
    October 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Well, I have a very specific interest in the poem, though not written with me in mind since I believe I was just a figment of your imagination when this was written, the words simply reflect recent conversations between us.

    It is a good example of what we discussed earlier today, about your style, how I can feel that wistfulness in your words. It's both a kiss and a tear, which is sometimes our relationship...the tears are always yourfault, lol. But it's any relationship that exists beyond the physical and the ephemeral.

    So much longing, so much hurt and so much love in these lines. And like I said, it's reading your words that taught me many things about you...your ability to love, no, to understand love, being just one.

    We are friends. I mean, we are way more than friends but we are, and you have no idea how that fills my heart.

    I'd agree with Kitesen and say I'm speechless but we both know I never am! lol.

    Espcially not speechless when I see such a combination of sense and sensibility (to steal from old lady Austen.) But it applies here!

    The last stanza, I could read that many times, and it reassures me in an odd way. It's good to know if I fall off the edge of the world I'll always occupy a small spot. Like I've said before, if you don't, I'll come back and haunt you!


    • MariGoes gold member
      October 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      When you do you do it right
      Thanks for this most wonderful comment and for understanding me so well

  • Kitesen
    October 8, 2007
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    just speechless, Mari.


  • fathom me
    October 8, 2007

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    hi Mari.. I read this one and i thought i had left a comment here.. but I guess I must have forgotten to hit the send button... anyway..
    beautiful poem Mari The strangeness and beauty of valuing a person so much is quite something I wish they had a smiley with a smile and a tear...
    Love ya


  • poetryality silver member
    October 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my goodness...this is beautiful, sadly beautiful, filled with passion, memory, yearnings, desires...Oh Mari, this poem makes me feel that there is loss of love, that there's a void that must now be filled. I love how you used; "and just as I was about to..." It give hope to these forlorn words. There is wonderful imagery laced throughout this work. I think I may be sitting here frowning because I feel the emptiness, and then...the last line speaks so fondly of memories. This makes me think of the old adage;

    "It is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all"

    I so wish this had been in the Comp! No matter...it is worthy of great praise. Splendid work. It is special people like you that makes it hard for me to even consider removing myself from this incredible place where talent like your abounds.


    All My Love ♥

    Renee

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