streaming orbs of light
in an array of hues
souls twisted, spinning
searching for an escape
reach beyond
all known boundaries
of space and time
eclectic dance of revival
whispered screams
meld into a uniform hum
of random beats and groans
knotted sinew and heartstrings
seeking scalpels embrace
to exact freedom
tender mercies
cowering in the bleachers
fearful of overwhelming demands
the frenzy ignites an explosion
and a cavalcade of energy surges
ectoplasm takes flight
in every conceivable direction
thunderclaps
suddenly grow ever distant
and mists dissolve their veil
before drowsy eyes
and with that the dream is now over
Author notes
picture prompt
A contest entry
- Picture Prompt by Riftkin.
425 points, ended October 12, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Almost Anything Goes by bloodletter68.
300 points, ended March 13, 2008, 132 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Send Me A Poem by crystallynnbradford.
400 points, ended November 9, 2007, 52 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Detailed critique welcome
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I am speechless.
I can't go on about how much I love this piece. You have captured the picture prompt incredibly well. The language is fantastic. The imagery is masterful. I love the ethereal feeling this piece gives me, especially with your use of "orbs of light" and "ectoplasm." I honestly can't say which stanza impacted me the most. Each line is loaded with, as you so eloquently put it, "a cavalcade of energy surges." Brilliant piece!!

Knight70


-
wow...this is really fucking good....i was expecting a good piece but this is just boarderline genius!!! I love every line !!!
-
nice take for the picture prompt I put up there
thank you for entering this contest
Riftkin -
Wonderful spiritual depth in descriptions in this piece.

-
This is so amazing!
"thunderclaps
suddenly grow ever distant
and mists dissolve their veil
before drowsy eyes
and with that the dream is now over"
Excellent penning my friend..Shows off your versatility!
Great job
Lynda


-
Thunder claps and the lost souls find freedom ---
very vivid write. Good luck in this contest.
Lady D

1 - 6 of 6






