Here she lies down once again, she's all alone
In the prison she likes to call her home
Nothings a surprise, it happens everynight
Breaking down in tears, stealing all her might
She's so confused, she just doesn't understand
She's tried and done everything that she can
She'd give her all, but there'd be nothing left
She screams away the pain, as she turns people deaf
Pumping up the volume, so no one can hear her cry
The tool poised in position as she heaves a heavy sigh
People always tell her that she shouldn't be afraid
But why are they so afraid of the decision she has made?
Author notes
hmm
Beautiful Tragedies
Option 1.
Suicide
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A contest entry
- Give it to me. by warrior-eagle.
600 points, ended March 30, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
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Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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interesting...well done!
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Wow. This was beautifl. Another HM.Thanks for your entry and for sharing your pain.
..Simply Me♥ -
Beautifukky done, Bek,
Hi, just joined this group and just starting down the line of poems left here for other group members to read. And yoour's being the latest, it was of course on top. Or maybe it's because they always say that the cream always rises to the top. It's gonna be a bit hard to subjective in reading and rating those listed below your because this one is so beautifully done. It grabs you from the start, and carries you through to the end...or was it the end...leaves you hanging. I did love this writing...sad for everyone elses here, lol..as this is going to be tough comparing against.
Thx for sharing this,
Evan -
a very well written piece.
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Wow. Awesome much? I am in awe of your ability to write.
Jealousness much?
Beautiful write though, I think it is one of my favourites of yours. Actually I think it may be my favourite, but there is just so many brilliant poems to choose from.
Bekness creates greatness.
Muchly Love,
Phi
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wow. beckness. this is fabulous. if i see u tomoz u are getting a megatronic tigmatic hug
it's fabulous. and i dont' know how else to say it is incredible cos i lost my words lol its greatness!
hayley
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Wow great job on this. Very dark and depressing but your write brings out unforgetable images. Some really brilliant lines used here to bring out the final impact. Thanks for sharing it and keep writing.
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mmm. i'm failing at words... which is strange for me.
part of me just wants to say good poem. and leave it at that.
another part wants to say reassuring like "i'm always here if you want to talk"
another part wants to crack a joke to make you smile
and another part of me wishes that i COULD always be there for you.
miss you
frigging awesome poem
and great use of the background.
seej
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damn this is really good. very nice description with it. i like how everyone knows what your talking about "The tool poised in position as she heaves a heavy sigh" but its not overly obvious
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pain is such a release from the numb void we feel each day
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"Pumping up the volume, so no one can hear her cry
The tool poised in position as she heaves a heavy sigh
People always tell her that she shouldn't be afraid
But why are they so afraid of the decision she has made?"
Far out. That hit a chord. A big one. The rhyme and rhythm are great and theres nothing else that I can really say here...
Keep writing.
Claire-Anne
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