I saw god in the eyes of a politician,
Or was it hell, hell and heaven wrapped
Up amid the halo and flasing lights,
Seeing angels in my bottle, white
Haired prophet, Jesus in a suit, religious
Fervour, Judo warped deities, blame,
And lies, and a swirling drain of thought,
CNN taught me well, I can predict the
Next fourteen lines, politically expedient,
Collateral damage, terrorism, I've
Seen god, long before that father saw the
Bits, blood bits, fallen corpses, what
Are my feelings on the matter? Noted
Experts, predictions, warnings, hope,
Back to hope, I hope I won't live to see
The Armageddon, scriptures, choices,
Politicians, the next fourteen lines,
It isn't hard, collateral damage,
We shall prevail!
A contest entry
- A Forest of words by this is a war.
600 points, ended November 20, 2007, 22 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
First let me say that I understand where this is coming from as a lot of us probably have the same thoughts. I think politicians indeed try to play god, the government is corrupt and the nation is going to hell in a hand basket. other than that, may i offer a suggestion that will help this read much smoother? you like breaks and everything are done well but i think if you read it through and looked at every sentence starting with a capital letter and removed some of those, this would read much smoother. when every sentence starts with a capital letter and the previous ends with a coma, it messes up the flow as each one is not a new sentence, something to think about
best of luck in the contest. be well and be blessed
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