Eternal vampiress awakes
Rising from silken slumber
Beguiled by dreams of
Naked flesh to paralyze
Chalk white curves to allure
Chiseled features pulsate
Eyes thirst, bits of molten gold
Burns ivory tears, dyed red
Enticed by screams, muffled
Hallowed halls whisper
Vile vixen hungers, aching
To satisfy inner-most desires
Torrent of bloody abandon
Bony fingers clutch gullet
To snap without mercy
Bathing in pooled blood
Dark liquid trickles down
Into forbidden crevasses
Parched throat, quenched
Liquid delight, ne'er forsaken
Veins withered, beyond repair
Taunting glare of sacrificial
Craving, reared back to lunge
Fangs puncture, carotid shreds
Arterial spatter coats midnight
Looking glass, revealed this night
Visage to drown in lost reflection
Immortal mistress, lips, half opaque
Knee-deep in a bed of chilled red
Fingertips pierce succulent morsels
Spontaneous decisions before each
Feast, to captivate, or eviscerate
Cram full, satiated, slumber beckons
Author notes
Option 1 for the current contest~
It's a lot of fun to write in this genre, especially this time of year. To be utterly seduced by this eternal vampiress, one has to wonder; how long do you have to ponder on the thoughts of whether your lover will choose to captivate, or eviscerate?
Photo credit:
http://www.ilcancello.com/archivio_grafica/Horror_pics_gallery.htm
A contest entry
- Mind testing Poems by irishmidnight.
300 points, ended October 13, 2007, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ohh La la by Twisteddolly.
900 points, ended October 23, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 28th Contest by Tarja.
606 points, ended October 14, 2007, 3 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Halloween Anything!!! by near1202apocalypse.
550 points, ended October 16, 2007, 19 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - my muse is suffering - GIVE ME INSPIRATION! by ellipsist.
1100 points, ended November 3, 2007, 60 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love's a vile wanton witch, whom lives in the abyss of a sadistic lust by Luciferian Aeon.
350 points, ended October 18, 2007, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Delightful Shell Shocker. by delightfulmess.
875 points, ended October 17, 2007, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Spooky by krymsin kyss.
600 points, ended October 30, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Almost Anything Goes by bloodletter68.
300 points, ended March 13, 2008, 132 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Insanity and Darkness. Thanks to Halloween by Razor-Blade Romance.
374 points, ended October 25, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - i'm a monster {love me} by XInsanity-FairX.
450 points, ended October 29, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - VAMPIRE Love/Sorrow/Erotica - Take your Pick (poetry or story write option) by Lucifers Seductress.
600 points, ended November 19, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
This is still a work in progress......
Comments
1 - 70 of 70
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the photo is still with this poem... I dont think your photo's dissappear on any of the poems when your gold membership runs out hun... so dont fret
chiseled features pulsate -- great line there to give the reader such vivid pictures of her!
this is scarey, suductive and at the same time it sent a chill down my spine-- your use of vocab for this piece was excellent and you so deserved that Gold and the other shinys!! welldone you!!
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Thank you!
I just updated my membership to silver today, so the photo came back. I'm short on cash this month, or I'd update back to the gold I had last year. So many of them are straight from the photo prompts. I wrote a vampiress poem recently about an immortal named Ophelia, but I won't post it until October, so I can enter it as a new poem. I had one guy last year tell me that he didn't care for this poem because he didn't deal with Satan. I smile still at that comment. He was just being honest, and not saying that I was Satan or anything, so I took it in stride.
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Loved it, very sexy and lustful. Almost romantic in a sinister way. Thank you for entering the contest.
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wow! what a sexy, lusty dirty and really really, creepy piece! how you describe her with such lust but such coldness is really a testament to your skills. my favorite line has to be "chalk white curves to allure" superb!!!!! Tanks so much!
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Thank you so much.
I really had so much inspiration with the photo in this piece. It's definitely one of the dark pieces I've written that I had the most fun with. I've got a couple of ghost poems that I like, one that's short and sweet, and another that's strictly horror.
Knight70
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i love this one
it's so seductively dark,
i like your wording, and phrasing, and imagery and the form and style of it
i like the fact it was so dark, but in an alluring, kind of way
it was great well done
thanks for entering and good luck
xxxx
XD
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This is so unique. Ireally love the imagery.
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Wonderful, and I see you have many a contest winners. I ask can you write of the dark one again in a new tale for me? This is brilliant, but I feel cheated by all the entires already. Well done none the less, it's dark and dreary just like I like them.
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I'd be glad to.
I'll just pull this one out of the contest, and write up a new one. They are challenging, but fun to write. I'd love to write another one anyway. I forgot that I entered this in four or five contests already. Halloween spawns a lot of dark contests, that's for sure. Knight70
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ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhohohohohoh!!! i love this piece!!! it fills me with joy!!! Yay for darkness!!!!
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Thank you so much, Crystal!
That just makes my day! This was my first vampiress piece. I had so much fun getting into this vampiress' head, and pondering on what she might do to her lovers each night. When she's through satisfying her inner-most desires, she then has to decide, "Do I captivate, or eviscerate?" I've always been a big fan of classic horror films, especially the older ones with Bela Lugosi and Christopher Lee's portrayals of Dracula. I'd like to do a werewolf piece, since one of my all-time favorite horror flicks is American Werewolf in London. I got the chance to visit London in 1989 when I was in the U.S. Navy. It's even more fun to watch that movie now, because I recognize so much of the scenery. That movie stills scares the living daylights out of me, but that's what makes it so much fun to watch.
Knight70
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Nicely Done !
Im in love with this poem. Im glad you entered it.
The passion within this poem is amazing. I loved the photo aswell. Adds a hint to the poem.
Good Luck and Well Done
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Thank you!!
This was my first vampiress piece, so your comments on it made my day. I love the photo, too. As soon as I saw it, I knew I had to write about it. Knight70
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Damn! I love the pic and the detail in the poem.
It's like I could see her infront of me almost hypnotizing me to take a taste.
Love the idea. -
Wicked!
Truly superb! Good luck. -
very sexy! I really enjoyed this piece. Flowed wonderfully. Thank you for entering and good luck :]
Avec amour *~Krymsin Kyss~* -
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Thank you!
I'm glad that you enjoyed it. I really had fun writing it. Knight70
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oh yeah... and for the combining of the words and images, you should have these:
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interesting, for certain... this is new for me as I can say that I am not accustomed to reading poetry about vampires... you have combined some very sensual imagery and some very delicate wording with some very technical and graphic wording and imagery... you have done that quite skillfully... I thank you for your participation in this contest...
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This was an amazing poem. Thought it painted a picture vividly. Loved it. Only thing I didn't like was the rhyme scheme..Or the lack thereof. I know I hear this I the time. That poems don't have to rhyme. And for the most part I believe that to be true. It's just my personal taste to be able to flow through the poem on wings of cadence and rhyme. But I'll give you this. Not much rhyme, but one of my favorites I have read in a long while.
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Thank you so much!
I really appreciate such a constructive critique.
I started writing poetry about ten months ago. Most of my poetry is free verse. My rhyme needs some work, without it coming out somewhat forced. I will send you a sea poem I wrote that rhymes. I would love to hear how you feel about the rhyme scheme. I'm always open to honest, but constructive critique like yours. As far as I am concerned, it helps me grow as a poet.
Knight70
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Wowzer!!!
Speechless....has to be one of the best darks I've read in a while. So blood thirsty, gory yet graceful at the same time, If you get me? Fabtastic!
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Oh my goodness.
Talk about graphic imagery. WOW I loved this
What a wonderful job thank you for entering the contest
delila
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As a Christian, I stay away from the dark side.
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I hear you, Jeff.
I'm just dabbling with so many different genres with my writing at the moment. My personal beliefs are religious as well, but I write about many different topics, as well as my beliefs. This is definitely not a poem I would share with my pastor. Don
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Don, I am a sinner, but I'm trying to do this: Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue, and if there is any praise, think about these things. For we know that the Law is spiritual; but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin. For that which I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate.
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First, congrats on the gold trophy. Thank you so much for following the one rule I asked from you.
Your poem was terrific. I am finding the free verse really does work better for darker pieces such as this. I have to say that I particularly loved the word choice in this piece... I mean you have such a morbid but creative mind to come up with such dark emotion. I love it! Thank you for entering and good luck. -
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Thank you very much, Tarja.
I'm glad that you enjoyed this one. It's my favorite dark piece I've written. I've only written four or five of them, but I will write plenty more in this genre. I'm working on a vampire free write right now, but it's just bits and pieces for the moment, while I cram writing in between my kids and college. I sometimes feel the same as you do about author notes. I've always got something in my author notes. I don't mind interpreting a poem as best I can, but some poems can be very difficult to interpret. That's not always a bad thing, but I never want to leave a reader completely in the dark as to what I was thinking about, which is why you will always find that I write pretty heavy in my author notes, even with my haiku. Without them, I think that has a tendency to get a reader to lose interest really quick, unless an aneurysm sets in first from thinking too hard, which ocassionally happens to me.
I saw Interview with a Vampire when it first came out. That was a brilliant film. I really liked the storyline, and how it kept me guessing from beginning to end. The ending really took me by surprise. I also thought Kirsten Dunst did a great job on that film, considering how young she was at the time. I like to watch films that make me think, so I can watch it more than once. I can always go back, and find some little detail I overlooked, and get something different from the film.
Anyway, I am off to read some of your poetry, and then get to work on some really exciting homework.
Knight70
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Wow!!!
This is fantastic!!! i can't even think of any words to describe it!!! Loved it so much!!!
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i lov
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Thank you so much, lonlystar.
I'm so glad that you enjoyed my vampiress poem. It was a lot of fun to write. Knight70
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Very nicely written. I love the way you have written this darkly seductive piece. Vivid imagery woven with feelings of lust and desire. Well done. Good luck in the contests.
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Thank you so much.
I really had fun writing this one. I've always been a big fan of the horror classics, especially Dracula. Christopher Lee and Bela Lugosi were brilliant as Dracula. The funny thing about Bela Lugosi was that he was scared to death of the sight of real blood. He would pass out on sight. I've been an avid reader of horror since I was 12, but didn't start writing it until a few months ago. I watched a deliciously deadly movie called Underworld not too long ago. I want to write something that's inspired by one of my all-time favorite horrors, American Werewolf In London. That movie will terrify me quicker than just about any horror film around. I get goosebumps just thinking about that movie. Knight70
Thank you for the glowing review!!
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come and scare me
Knee deep in blood in a bed of chilled red. Will you await my bite on a full moon night. If so come grabb my into the night take me to your dreams. Well done. scare me and I will shiver. May you keep the words floating lika swan on the lake.
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Thank you, kindly, milady.
~Knight
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ooooh very spooky, but sensuous too...
i agree...it's fun to write in this genre,
to let your creative mind explore...thank
you so much for sending me the link...I
really enjoy your work. Love, Lane
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Thank you, Dalaney.
This was so much fun for me to write. I've always liked to read horror stories, and I'm a huge fan of the classic horrors films, particulary Christopher Lee's portrayal of Dracula. I'm starting to branch out with my writing more, and that is pretty exciting. I am glad that you enjoyed this one. Knight70
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I really liked this alot. I have tried this sort of writing but it always seems to come out so hokey and not intense like yours. I will give it another shot and send you the link if I do..This was really a great job.
Soulful Woman
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Thank you so much, Noreen.
I'm a huge fan of classic horror films, especially Dracula. I saw my first Dracula with Christopher Lee at a friend's house when I was about 10. I've loved the concept of horror since then. I'm brand new to writing horror for the most part, but I've written a few of them in the past few months that I really had fun writing. I'm off to school.
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very erotic knight,,i am surprised..erotic in translylvania excellent love it peter
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Thank you so much, Peter.
I really enjoyed writing this. I have always been into the horror film classics, especially the Dracula films, when portrayed by Lugosi, or Christopher Lee. I've got to head to school. I'm so busy with college right now, I don't get to read much of your work. I'll try to this week, though.
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OOh I loved the picture ur writing matched perfectly with it. Very dark and sensual, makes you wonder is she going to take my life or make me her love slave for all eternity...I Like it. Thank you soo much for entering.
-Jessie -
Very dark and disturbing and scary, and another excellent example of your mastery of horror. There's a wealth of evocative imagery in this wonderful poem, and I love your well-chosen vocabulary and free verse phrasing. Best of luck in your contests, and thanks for shaing this marvelous poem.
Mercury Rising
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i love it
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**laughs** I love it!!...And the question...**taps chin thoughtfully** it does so make you wonder!!! Leaves at the edge of fear...but the anticipation is addicting!! brilliant love!! you do so well with dark, horror writes...i hope to see more soon!! **hugs**
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Thank you so much.
...and to think she does one or the other EVERY night. Anyway, I have to get my little girl off to kindergarten now, and then get myself to school. I'm so glad that you enjoyed this. I will definitely write more of them.
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Dark horrorifying, Amazing
My friend this a an OUTSTANDING write, Can't say much more, these are my favorite lines;
"Chiseled features pulsate
Eyes thirst, bits of molten gold
Burns ivory tears, dyed red
Fingertips pierce succulent morsels
Spontaneous decisions before each
Feast, to captivate, or eviscerate
Cram full, satiated, slumber beckons"
LISA
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Thank you so much, Lisa.
I had so much fun writing this. As much as I love to write about nature, it's nice to branch out with my writing. Horror is something I have always loved to read, so I am thrilled that I am learning how to write it. Don
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Now that you have my attention
I think she might be a friend of mine
Someone from a day gone by
But you can just come over or stop by
Riftkin
you are wonderful -
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smiling....
Wow, that's a friend I'd like to meet.
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just look for her on Halloween
she normally walks the streets -
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LOL
....and Buffy, the vampire slayer, is on her tail.
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Nope she sent Angel to Buffy
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oh my gosh..chilling..ahhhh
Excellent...smiles
Peace
Sister ~A~
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My dear brother I believe you are trying to prevent me from sleep..this piece is seriously scary..The photo is amazing..A very well written piece..
You compliment this photo perfectly and enhance its already incredible imagery..
Bravo..
Best wishes with this entry..
Peace
~A~
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Spooky picture this one portrays, hahaha good luck in the contestlol
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Thank you so much.
I just revised this poem, and added five new lines. The judge for this contest craves horror, combined with juicy detail. This scares me a little, but it sure is fun to write. Maybe, I should write my next poem about playful dolphins.
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OMG!!!
Hun....THIS IS AMAZING!!! The wording...the phraseing...the ...imagery!!! Oh wow!!! It's beautiful in it's dark, blood kissed way.. "Chiseled features pulse
Eyes, bits of molten gold
Burns ivory tears, dyed red"
This set is amazing...where do you come up with your writeing? I can see how you had a blast writing this!! My god...I dont' even know what to say!! I'm nearly speachless!! And I should think, that with the way you've brought her to life, you'd melt under her gaze as I know I would!! She's beautiful...sly...cunning...devilish...and you brought out every aspect of her!! Beautiful!!! Good luck...
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Thank you, midnight.
I really loved writing this. Her eyes really do look like "bits of molten gold," don't they? I would be completely mesmerized by her eyes. I think that's what makes this vampiress so desireable. I'm working on a few additional lines to take the imagery even further. I'm playing around with a line about a torrent of blood-thirsty abandon. I really loved writing this in a way where you don't get a clear visual of the victim, simply because the vampiress moves with supernatural speed, nor can you really visualize how many victims there are.
I deliberately left that open for interpretation, to further escalate the lingering mystery, which just enhances its hypnotic traits. She spontaneously decides before each feast to eviscerate, or captivate. Oooh, I kind of like the way that sounds, too. I get so much inspiration from my own author notes. Many of my poems I've written are bits and pieces of things I've written to other poets, commenting on their work. I will take whatever I was thinking, and play around with the wording some. I've used "liquid light" in two poems before, so that's where "liquid delight" came from. She's enticing, yet deliciously deadly.
I'm going to add some detail about how the dark liquid trickles down forbidden crevasses. I was thinking about one of my waterfall haiku, and that thought came together to enhance this poem. It's really interesting how poems of completely different genre can be inter-woven, if you have a clear visual of it beforehand.
The final product will probably be twice this size.
Don, your AP Brother -
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Knight70
It's sounds brilliant!! You have such a way with words. Even when your just speaking to a friend. It leaves me mesmerized. I love it!! You did wonderful with this one. And if you get the chance...i'd love to seee the longer version...actually I'm redoing my vampriss one as we speak. I see so much more potential with it...and it'll be at least twice as long as the one before if not more. **laughs** I may just take you up on that horror book idea...I sat there and thought about it last night after I read your comment and seriously considered the idea. I might just do it...with as much fun as I had writeing that poem...it'd be a blast writeing a book of them!!! So i'll let you know how that goes..you'll get the first copy...lol
Let me know on how this poem ends up ok babe? I would absolutely love to erad the changes!!! -
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That is so exciting!!
I'd learn so much from reading your horrific tales. I can just see the title to your book, Blood Lust. I've been reading this kind of stuff since I was 12, but never wrote anything of the sort. I didn't start writing poetry until about 10 months ago, and now I can't get enough of it.
I'm so thrilled that you are adding to that awesome write that I read the other night. Every line chilled me to the bone. It's definitely what got me inspired to write this one, my very first poem about a vampiress.
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Now..I know you're used to
the specific way I review poetry..
But this one...
It's kinda hot, Dear Poet.
I don't think ~I'd~ drop dead on the spot..
rather, offer that "liquid delight" willingly.
Vampires aside, she's one hell of a woman.
lol..though typical to snap without mercy.
Well done, Dear Poet.
Hope you've liked the different response!
~May the ink in your pen flow freely~
Chaos
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Thank you, Chaos.
This is about halfway done. I've got another stanza written out for the most part to put in the middle. I'm glad that you are enjoying it so far.
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i really like this piece a lot I think that you have done a great write and I hope to read more of your work very soon...you might want to check out my contest too
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Thank you so much, Crystal.
I am so glad that you enjoyed this. It was incredibly fun to write. You've been on my list of favorites for a while, and I should get back to reading more of your work. Being a parent, and in college, I try to write and read when I can. It helps me to release some of the pent-up stress of school. I sure will be glad when I am finished next year, so I can read and write more. Don
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Ha I love this poem you hqave done a fine job with this and like Jeremy I love your Authors notes.
Thanks for sharing and goodluck in the contest.Much love
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Thank you, C.J.
I sure had fun writing this one. It's nice to take my writing in another direction once in a while.
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interesting write, i like it, have you entered more than one entry? either way, excellent write, thanks for entering it, good luck! =)
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LOL! I think you did a great job with this one.
I love your author's comments! You draw a great
picture with your words in this. Well done and
all the best to you in the contest my friend!
Thanks a lot for sharing it here and keep up
the wonderful work!
Jeremy0826 -
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Thank you, Jeremy.
I had a great deal of fun writing this. I'm so glad that you enjoyed it. Don
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