The water falls hard
Like tiny bullets blistering the skin
A cloud escapes and fogs the mirror
Exposing finger streaks on the reflective surface
Legs tangled together
Crossed like the one hung above the fire place
The cool tiled corner offers no comfort
The scent of love breathes through the steam
This petite body couldn't carry the heavy load
Putting everything on the table
Just to fold and cash in the one chip, this heart
love was bittersweet, rejection butchers
Water runs over thin blond strands
Flowing down pale skin, occasional freckle
The knob turned to the left, Hot
Flesh still plagued with goosebumps
Tears mixed with cascading water
Creating a salty sting on red lips
Fingers trace meaningless words through condensation
Built up on the translucent shower door
Love, adoration, cuddle, darling...
Things this being would never experience
He 'almost' fell in love with her in return
But everybody knows, almost doesn't count...
Author notes
Task 2
A contest entry
- Rounds Contest [Dune Buggy] Round Two by Naridill.
1000 points, ended October 18, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I really love this, draws in alot. Some parts are alot stronger than other bits - which adds a nice touch to the end of some stanzas.
I was a little disappointed with the ending, it seems like it was rushed or you ran out of things to say, which is a little sad cause the rest flows so beautiful.
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THis is quite a departure from your normal voice in poetry, but I understand why, with the constraints of the rules. I think it is an amazing picture you have painted without the use of "he, she, etc."
"Water runs over thin blond strands
Flowing down pale skin, occasional freckle," is great in it's description using what you could!
I think it's great doll! Absolutely great!
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