Memories fly to the sky,
Lost in the space of time.
Your name lifted to the spirits,
But never forgotten.
May peace fill you as you leave us,
And let you see wonders we cannot.
Wait for the day when we can be together,
When we join you in happiness.
You are always in our hearts,
Are we still in yours?
What did you think
Comments
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I'm not really sure what to take out of this piece. Our memories make us who we are; that's what I believe. So your first two lines are rough in my eyes. It's brings out a nice feeling, though, in the third and fourth lines when you say the "name is lifted to the spirits, but never forgotten."
Again, it's good. One or two lines rub me the wrong way, but over all I really like the piece.
