Standing under the rainbow,
with fingers twisted and entwined.
She spat her gum high into the atmosphere,
and watched as the rainbow cracked and shattered.
Down the colours fell, while raindrops imploded
she twirled around and watched the world turn black and white.
Black ribbons flew freely
from head to toe, raw open cuts
etched out with pens that splattered white ink.
Her eyelashes fluttered
blink – giggle – spin – fall
head tipped backwards, mouth open wide
chipped musical notes flew high into the sky.
Eyelids glued together,
mouth sewn shut.
She awoke somewhere over the rainbow.
Author notes
Broken Floorboards.
Hope you like x
In a list
A contest entry
- [Rainbow Colored Screams]- & -{Cyanide Sprinkled Dreams} by xToxicxCupcakesx.
315 points, ended November 7, 2007, 20 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Beautiful Dirty Pretty Poetry by Carpe Noctem.
525 points, ended January 3, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Is Dirty Pretty a Lost Cause? by Hell In Harmony.
6500 points, ended July 22, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Eyelids glued together,
mouth sewn shut.
She awoke somewhere over the rainbow.
interesting, deffinately a new form.
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Is this a poem formed using lines and images from some of your other poetry?
I love it!
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Erm.
There's two poems.
This is the full version.
The other one is only erm.. 9 lines of this one. I think.
Can't really remember.
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The imagery was felt so strongly in this. I loved the rainbow cracking and the black ribbons. This was very well-put-together, and though weird, highly imaginative and full of color. Thanks very much for entering, and best of luck!
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I really liked it, and you weren't lying in your author's note's! it is a little weird!! lol
But, it is great, like nothing else I have ever read before.
Tell me - was it a real trip, or one from your imagination?!
Sunny
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This piece was from pure imagination,
Thank you for the wonderful comment! =]
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This is different but i like it...
Great job and good luck!!!
/q-pid/ -
Wow this was a wonderful piece, the metaphors were simply fantastic and you totally deserved to win the contest! I'm just so happy I got 4th
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Omgosh! I love this! It's great! Really it is!
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ssssssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo pretty!
i love it more than the other one haha
its so incredibly pretty!
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Wow, before I got to the last line of this I was thinking this sounds like what it must be like to go from the colorful land of Oz back to the drab colorless real world!
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Darkly morbid with a touch of pretty pettiness. Lovely. The imaginary in here was wonderfully put. Have at, love it.
Gloria -
This has absolutley amazing imagery.
Dark yet beautiful
Brilliant dolly.
xx
♥
ilyy
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this is a beautiful imagery...I'm guessing its expressing of someone beautiful in spirit
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Eeeeew...
This gave me some serious chills. I wasn't "getting it" and then I read your authors notes. I re-read it again, better I thought. But the third time I re-oriented the visuals of black and white back into color and back to back and white, so by the third time, worked like a charm... It actually made me shudder. This was simply an amazing job with imagery. Wow is all I can say now.... Ithica
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I really liked this poem. It was soo cute!
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Edgy and sweet, what a perfect combination. Great poem girl and good luck in the contest
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i really enjoyed this. it was dark and edgy, just also very sweet and innocent. great details. painted a very vivid picture
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That was a very interesting poem. You used some words that have been a little overused, but you made them work just right.
I feel a little giddy after reading this.
Good luck in the contest you have entered. -
This is quite good. I'm not really into the DP style, but this was pretty unique. I liked the imagery in this. Good job.
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I actually really like this poem.
The humor in the dark is quite pleasing,
and I really loved the imagery that you used,
as well as the metaphors and the line breaking.
It flows nicely, it has meaning.
A good poem.
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