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You're The Type Mother Always Warned Me About

Make me fall in love with you,

then tell me we are no more.

Tell me that your lies are true,

then break me to the core.

Promise me we'll be forever,

that we cannot be broken.

Then telling me you never,

meant a word you'd spoken.

Saying others were liars,

when they said horrible things.

Filled me up with that fire,

and all else that love brings.

You became depressed so bad,

physical sttate getting worse.

So you took all I ever had,

made my lovely bubble burst.

You're the type mother warned me about,

the one she said I could do well without.

But still I love you as it's hard that you've gone

when you're hearts shattered and still clings on.

Author notes

She did always say.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • Lady Michaella
    February 11
    Edit | Reply
    wow.. fantastic work here!

    -Lemon Bee-
    xx


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent poem
    Your emotions simply lift off the page

    This was a great piece and congrats on all the trophies


  • Re-invention silver member
    April 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    indeed i believe in you... thanks for also commenting in my writes you've done a marvelous job yourself... wonderful write!


  • DeadlyPoetic88
    March 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very true. I love your poetry. This is very beautiful. I like this a lot. Keep up the awesome job. I agree with Sue Cardwell.


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    January 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your words ring so true and I wish my Mum had told me as well, a good poem and thank you for your entry in our contest.

    Please do join us in our future contest, we'd love to see you...

    Sue and Jeff


  • Kari gold member
    January 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I went to comment on this piece and got thrown off Anyway, as I was saying this piece hits really close to home in many ways. The flow in this is great. I wish you the best of luck in the contest!
    Kari


  • katie-jo
    December 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderful poem. I see why you got so much praise for this. The first stanza is great, but the rhyme changing in the last stanza is a little rough and shaky. Otherwise an excellent write.
    Thank you for entering and all the best in the contest.

    Happy New Year!
    ~kate-flamingo


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    December 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    x Empathic Rose x This is an excellent write Congratulations on the trophys Thanks for entering my contest and I wish you the best of luck


  • Death of the Author
    November 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hmm I liked this, it's been penned very well. I'm not sure about the change of rhyming structure in the last stanza though, it doesn't fit as nicely into the poem as it could.

    Your first stanza is...well excellent. I loved it, it's so...emotionally punchy. It's like you want to fall in love again even though you know the consequences, just so you can have...that feeling. That's what I got from it anyway.

    I think the third line in the second stanza could do with an extra syllable: telling me THAT you never seems to fit better to me. But then again it might not fit better to you so it's really your choice.

    I can relate to the "you became depressed so bad" line a lot because my girlfriend suffers from depression and I'm not very good at dealing with it. I love the rest of that stanza too.

    The last stanza is good...the last line is great.

    Anyway, thanks for entering and congratulations on the gold

    Take care and good luck! x

    • xxRainbowDawnxx
      November 15, 2007

      Edit | Reply
      You're quite right about that. I do want to feel that feeling again, though I know what heartache it causes.

      Thanks for your comments, I will definately take them into account!

      Thanks for invite to contest E too!

      ~ Stef

      • Death of the Author
        November 15, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        Yeah...love really is not all it's cracked up to be at some points and yet it's something we all yearn for.

        Take care x


  • Nam
    October 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "physical sttate getting worse." - "sttate" would be "state".

    Other than that: sounds a bit like a song ... a nice piece that you have written here.

  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    October 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your most heartfelt entry, and I agree that where love is concerned we are blinded by it and should listen to those wiser than we to protect us from what they see and we don't, Josephine


  • over the rainbow--x
    October 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Sweetie, I know exactly how this feels, I just wish my mum had warned me before.
    ♥


  • Blaze1616
    October 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    What makes a poem good is how well its written. What makes a poem great is whether the reader can relate to it or not, an how well they relate. This poem is great.


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    October 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this was a beautiful write which held alot within it using strong metaphors to give it the right effect
    well done sis and best of luck

1 - 17 of 17