He sits in darkness, waiting for his muse,
Enraptured by her flighty siren song,
For words are but another thing to lose
When one has chased eternity as long.
His eyes are worn, his fingers smeared with ink,
But still he struggles 'gainst the weary night,
For something must come soon, or so he thinks,
And yet the page is pure, untarnished white.
What drives his reckless desperation on
Can be no less than everlasting fame,
For even when the man is dead and gone,
The world will mind, and all will know his name.
The greatest of the arts are word and rhyme,
For they alone transcend the bounds of time.
A contest entry
- Give Me You by TheLostGirl.
376 points, ended October 12, 2007, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites! by aeolia.
380 points, ended January 19, 2008, 116 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ages 13 and Under ~ Enter your best prewrite by Amunet Wolfbane.
300 points, ended November 9, 2007, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Survival of the Wittiest by Avatar of Innocence.
500 points, ended February 4, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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hmm...Shakespearean Sonnet? Seems like it...Doesn't ring like a Spencerian Sonnet...If I am grossly misinformed, please let me know..
I appreciate your dedication to form...but somehow this sonnet seems a bit choppy and lacks fluidity...Some pronouns (He) are unnecessary and take up your syllables in the lines...for example the first line of the second stanza...you could insert an mono-syllable adverb or adjective (or two) in the place of the pronoun and by deleting "are"...just a thought.
I'll read it for the third time again...hold on...
Okay...the third and fourth line of the first stanza are correct and related, but it could be improved...why not something like:
"Words are just another thing to lose/ for one who chased eternity so long."
I don't know the message you want to convey exactly in this stanza, but to show the
The rest of the poem is satisfactory in directing the description of the subject's fervor...so, good job you.
However, the last couplet was a bit disappointing. I have heard this type of statement before, though it may not be in the couplet form, or even rhyming for that matter. The last line could have a mono-syllable adjective or adverb in the place of "the bounds"...something like "strains" or "chains", or even "limits"...I know you can think of something better.
You can disregard my comments or put them to good use. Whatever you like.
Ijou... -
Sorry for the delay in judging; and thank you for taking the time to enter. I wish you the best of luck in the contest!
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beautiful words and they flow so wonderfully soft...Thank you kindly for sharing them with me and very pleased to meet you
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I'm not sure since I'm not really good in form poetry, but this looks a lot like a sonnet
tell me if I'm wrong on this 
Actually, I really love this poem because I noticed the rhymescheme when I was near the end
I don't come across poetry with such a natural rhyme that much
Very well done!
Leander -
if only we could all have a muse that drove us! ery good poem. thank you for entering and good luck.
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"The world will mind, and all will know his name.
The greatest of the arts are word and rhyme,"
I love those lines. This piece is very well written and you really deserve that trophy. I really like the opening line as well - I think we're all waiting for our muse to come, at times! Good job! -
the ending was very true and I liked that part, but in other places it seemed you were using words that just didn't fit in the mood. 'weary night' made it sound like you were choosing poetic words instead of just writing what you felt. Maybe I'm wrong but something just feels like it's missing. well good luck and thanks for entering.
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thank you for entering... I actually found the line "What drives his reckless desperation on
Can be no less than everlasting fame" a bit awkward... don't know why... oh wait... nevermind, i think it's just me... seriously because right now i've been studying for this exam: the GMAT? and the quantitative (math) part is filled with "no less than... equal to or more than...etc..." so yeah sorry for my left to right (or right to left... whichever one it is) momentary brain switch right there... lol
I liked it thanx again 4 sharing!
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good job
nice write.. good flow to the whole thing.. thank you for entering -
this is great and how we all must feel at times.. thank you for the entry into my contest and i wish you well
cheers
Jen
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I love this a lot it rhymes very well I love how its about what a lot of us have gone through....writers block I love this
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My first impression is Wow. Do you write a lot of sonnets. This is an excellent example and I love it. Very good rhyme and meter.Well done. Bravo.
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