Smiles placed onto my skin
I never thought it would have been
Those lies you see are so misplaced
Hide everything we hate to face
To see the truth, that I'm a ghost
To see those cuts you hate of most
To see me when I'm all alone
I'm drowning in this place called home
Though in a group you tend to see
Me laughing, playing, and being "me"
More lies are feed, you believe them all
So why would you have known I'd fall
To be the one, you all ignore
To be the one that is a bore
To not be heard, and pushed away
Why on earth did you think I'd stay
You all are frauds, I know the truth
Did you think that I'd be fooled by youth
Thats wrong, I know, I suffered too long
Just walking around, I don't belong
Even this is true with family
Locked in the house alone I'll be
They all go out, no offer to me
I'm left, a ghost, that no one sees
I wish no more, but to be all gone
And in my heart I know you won
Isolation was your favorite thing
To cut me off, and death to bring
You got what you wanted [me] alone and sad
I've shed my blood I should have had
Blooded matress, and much much more
I'm alone forever, I was just a bore
Author notes
I couldn't escape the hurt of being alone when i was around you, so now i'll just stay alone without you.
Stephnaie Wood. ap name luna-midnight
A contest entry
- closed for judging...LONELINESS. by Summer Dawn.
800 points, ended October 9, 2007, 20 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Random Feelings by Harbinger of Death.
355 points, ended March 3, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn that silver into gold pt 5 by whispernthedark.
300 points, ended March 6, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Great write, thank you for entering the contest. Good luck.
♥
whisper
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is a great and sad poem .. and it how i feel now that my wife has left me.. i guess i am meet to be alone for the rest of my lif
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no, not alone for the rest of ur life *hugs*
hey if you need someone to talk to i am here. i hope ur okay. thanks for the comment.
stephanie
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You really put your emotions into this poem. Thanks for entering
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This is really sad But it is also a great poem.
Thanx 4 your comment,you are helping alot just by talking like we do.
hey maybe you can be my A.P. friend? I allways wanted to do that.Do u no how?? lol.
anyway thanx 4 being there. XxXjesse ;=
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Poetic Mastery
Striking and poetically moving piece. The pain practically radiates, I love it, yet it saddens me. I'm sorry if this is some of what your going through, I can't imagine what it is like for you. I wish you the best, and that you'll find hope, this is a amazing write, masterful and emotional. Well done. And thanks for sharing. -
Stunning moving piece
This is very very sad indeed. I am almost certain that some parts of this piece I read as 'you' Steph. I know what you go through for you have told me.
I can only say that life will get better for you. This is a great piece of writing and it was very very emotional. You have done well, writing this.
All the best
Wayne
x
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So sad
It is sad that anyone would ever take their own life thinking it would hurt the one who hurt them . It never does for they had no heart or comscience to start with for if they had they would have never left the love you held open for them .Never take your life for another for their are so many that could love you as love should be not as a passing fancy . Be strong and if you want to hurt someone then for those types of guys go on with your life like they meant nothing to you and that your OK and it eats them alive . For they want you to stay home and cry while they are out on the town lining up another midnight fancy to drop and break .
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really generates the feeling of abandonment and being lonesome..
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Hey, that was awesome. I know the feeling of being alone and abandoned, and its not a good one. I liked the part when you said
"I wish no more, but to be alone,
And in my heart i know you won
Isolation was your favorite thing
To cut me off, and death to bring"
And i can relate to the part aout the family to
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the loneliness is really felt in this write. separation that goes along with it....admittance of being false because of an image that needs to be portayed..
Though in a group you tend to see
Me laughing, playing, and being "me"
More lies are feed, you believe them all
So why would you have known I'd fall
and i personally can really relate to this verse:
Even this is true with family
Locked in the house alone I'll be
They all go out, no offer to me
I'm left, a ghost, that no one sees
overall, good poem, and lovely background.
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oh wow, quite intricate and emotional.
Angst is well controlled and it didn't smother the poetry. (=
I like the first stanza, because I find it quite originally. Work on the phrasing with more economy and flow and you get yourself a pretty nice piece.
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wow steph, this poem is beautiful, but yet sad. Just remember, that your never alone, cause duhnununa! koda will always be here for you!=] great poem though, and i hope the best for you in this contest and i hope things work out
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