Obliterated the silence
to reveal undertones of hues
unrecognizable.
Without the sheath
the cold is a painful sharpness--
like light reaching dilated eyes.
Wounds do not recognize their healer
shrinking from the truth
daylight and fresh air offers
and the uncomfortable awareness
of its own existence.
Obliterated silence
catching sunlight on its surface
as it dances to the ground
shattered pieces uniquely broken
each trying to hold more meaning
than they ever will.
Wounds cry out--
to reveal anguished tones
unrecognizable.
Waits in farfetched hope
for new pain
dulled by consistency.
Author notes
Well, now I've learned that I am not a contest kind of person. Good to know.
But, for you, irishmidnight. Here you go. Though it's probably not as long as you would've liked.
(Oh, and the title really does match the poem. Just have to look a bit further, is all)
A contest entry
- Mind testing Poems by irishmidnight.
300 points, ended October 13, 2007, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Physician, heal thyself
This poem is almost two years old. How do you feel about it now? What would you express differently?
Favorite line: "Wounds do not recognize their healer"
Normally I do not like poetry without internal punctuation; but the lack of it here actually adds greatly to the strength and force of the poem. The awkwardness of the lines is part of the content.
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The second stanza it my personal favorite, in terms of in your face metaphors, although I am also in love with the satire of the fourth stanza. Very compelling, you make me long for greater mental strength. Nice job here.
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What a unique write you have penned here! It has a mysterious feel to it, and I believe many meanings could be taken from it. I especially love the third stanza, as I can relate to the denial of pain that this speaks of to me. Very nice write! Blessings, Patty
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"Without the sheath
the cold is a painful sharpness--
like light reaching dilated eyes."
That stanza stood out to me the most. I got the vision of feeling like something destructive and not having anything to hide yourself away in. That really got to me, visually and emotionally.
I might be wrong on my interpretation of the title and how it fits with the poem, but I'll give it a shot:
The poem seems to be a recognition of something painful, but something that must be moved past from. So, uncrossing arms is like eraching for help, for something or someone to help you walk away from it. Or, as the last stanza leads me to believe, reaching out for another tragedy to to release yourself from a previous one.
If you haven't noticed, I tend to ramble in comments.
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Wow!! What an amazing write! Don't sell yourself short, this is definetely contest material! I am in awe of your writing ability... this poem is truly a great one. Thought-provoking and emotional, I honestly loved every line. A very good job!
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WOW, this piece is wrought with emotion...it increases as the lines go on. I think you ARE contest material, don't sell yourself short.
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Very unique and refreshing sort of write. Truly thought provoking... The subtle repetition really adds to the depth. Very well spoken!
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"...shattered pieces uniquely broken..."
Each line presents such strong images,
this sending the mind tangentially
thinking about the uniqueness
of each shattered piece,
the inherent importance
of each human being.
Aesthete
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It's beautiful girl!! Don't put yourself down...it's a mind tease defintily!!! But you've got such a way with words it amazes me!!! Good luck my dear!!! **winks**
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Wow. Amazing is all i can say. This is truly a very profound write. Very powerful and so true and deep. Great job and I wish you the best in this contest. God Bless You!!
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This is astounding! So deep and filled to the brim with truth and raw emotions. I was blown away by the third and fourth stanzas. You are amazing! Love, D
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