The charm of Autumn has begun,
rustic leaves fall to the ground.
Red, orange, brown and green,
just some of the colours found.
Early mornings become darker,
the air is clean and crisp.
Squirrels start making stores,
hurrying by you, swift.
Before you know it, trees are bare,
twiggy silhouettes against the sky.
Children with their wellies on,
rustle and crunch leaves as they go by.
The air becomes cooler,
nature sheds her skin.
Children conker hunting,
a new fun can begin.
So soon it is costume time,
spooky all Hallows eve.
Children trick 'n' treating,
happy with what they receive.
Now autumns over,
the end for this year.
Soon it will be winter,
with all its festive cheer.
A contest entry
- Contest - Making this Blank Canvas Come to Life! by Arkbear.
600 points, ended October 8, 2007, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Electrify the Autumnal Spirit Within by FunnelWaxFate.
900 points, ended November 16, 2007, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - TEN THOUSAND POINTS OF RHYME! (now 12,000) - Part 3 Nature by cricketjeff.
1000 points, ended December 17, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Many thanks for your entry in our 'Nature' contest.We had a mammoth task choosing the winners, we're sorry you were not chosen this time.
Please join us in the remaining contests in our Rhyming Extravaganza.
Sue and Jeff, your contest hosts.
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A bit of punctuation/spelling errors, but a good read. Good luck on the next contest.
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I adore the rich culture of this piece, “The air becomes cooler,
nature sheds her skin.
Children conker hunting,
a new fun can begin.” the essence of life, change, exuberance and clarity in autumn time. I agree, this season truly is quite charming. This write is quite cheerful, yet after I finished reading, I felt a tinge of sadness; as though the ending of her reign (autumn’s) has touched me deeply in this poem. I also love how the end of the year is associate with autumn’s end, which is very true, but not often mentioned. It sort of gives me that feeling of not really wanting to let go of the year, but then also that excitement and thrill of beginning a new one. It is a very grasping write, obviously, and has thrown me into a stew of thought. I also love the references to children in this write, enhances the innocence of the season, and also the inevitable changes that come with it, the growing older, is what feel. Very expertly written, well done!
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Great poem and Good luck in the contest congrats on the trophies well deserved
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Congrats on the honorable mention trophy. I thought this was so lovely! Autumn is truly my favorite season.
It's so magical to me! Just so you know I am hosting another contest with an Autumn theme! Good luck.
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Few grammar notes. Line 1 of stanza 2 "Early mornings become darker," morning is possessive there so it should be "morning's". Also, line 1 of the last stanza has the same issue. "Now autumns over," since autumn's is a contraction, not a plural, it should be "autumn's". Other than that, I was unsure about "Children conker hunting,"; did you mean "conquer"? Also you have quite a few comma splices in here. For example, the first two lines "The charm of Autumn has begun,/rustic leaves fall to the ground." Those are independent clauses, so they have to be separated by a semicolon. Note how each one is a sentence with subject and verb. That shows that they are independent clauses. You have many examples of this in here. However, I don't know if you were using the comma more as a line break than as punctuation. I know we talked about punctuation a bit. I think it just depends on what you're going for with the punctuation. If it's just for rhythmic breaks, don't worry about the comma splicing. But if you are concerned about grammatical accuracy, you will want to change the comma splices (if that is the case, you can message me if you want a complete list of the lines with comma splices). On to the good stuff! You put in so many things that define Fall, the leaves, the bare trees, Halloween. I love to see all my favourites in one poem Also you had some great imagery, like "twiggy silhouettes against the sky" and "nature sheds her skin". Delicious! You struck upon some gorgeous phrases Also I liked that you followed through chronologically: starting with the beginning of autumn and then ending with the coming of winter. Oveerall, the poem gave me that crisp, cool, autumn feeling. Nicely penned, poet!
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I think the story, within the rhyme scheme used, could be tightened up a bit. Perhaps look into syllable count, if not already.
Other than that: a nice poem that you have written here.
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I like this its very adorable it captures fall and its transition very well. It has a lot of imagery. This is very good thank you for entering
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This is gorgeous hun
so very picturesque
you captured the essense of autumn
it's my favorite time of year
and you my friend are an incredible
writer..I never tire of reading you
and am always, always impressed
congrats on the trophy!!
Love this!!!!!
~Pastel
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Excellent
Very well done.
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Aww
I love atumn and this poem ^^! The colors are fantastically described with the word "rustic" ha...if you think about it they do look a bit rusty no? Beautifully written and again you have quite some talent with the way your writting flow.
~BI
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Awww! This created such beautiful imagery. The poem was soft and the flow was nice... Congrats on your trophy...I saw your homepage, it's pretty. Great design you made (the bow). I do not have the patience for that! Thanks for reading my poem!
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nice rhyme, flow, imagery
...not much else to say about it - it's just nice
hmmm, i'd like to see who beat you out for gold...i've not seen many other poems as good as this on the website -
awesome
A lovely poem indeed.Congradulations for the trophy.Keep up the good work.
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Congratulations on winning a silver trophy with this wonderful poem. You surely deserved it and more. This piece was a delight to read, and I wish you the best of luck in the new contest with this very colorful and creative Autumn poem.
Mercury Rising
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I love it!!!
It's wonderful how you so eloquently put the entire month of October into this piece. I love to read and write about Autumn, since it's my favorite season. Bravo indeed!
Knight70
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such an accurate display of our changing seasons. thank you for your entry into my contest and i wish you well
cheers
Jen
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Very good choice of entries ~
You did bring this canvas to life.....but is it enough
to pull ahead of some of the other entries?
We'll see!
Good luck Poet, and well done!
Bear ~
Score: 99.3
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