A postman was running alongside the rushing bus
almost flying over cars and stretches of land,
his brow wet, hardly breathing, waving at me
with a letter tightly kept in his left hand.
I saw him dumping his bag
all papers spreading into the wind
like hungry autumn butterflies
landing all over the empty field,
the blue cap deserting his head like a wild animal,
dogs barking and chasing
biting his uniform
until white underwear shamelessly
peeked into the world...
I swear, still good and sane in my mind,
that there were small hearts
decorating it
(no comment...) .
From time to time the bus pulled faster
but the postman was trying so hard
that letters started peeling away from the paper
one by one sticking to the windshield
like an invasion of band-aid aliens
enjoying the sound of creaking bus springs
(I was scared that the bus driver will miss the street
with all those fluttering letters in front of his face,
thankfully, the postman finally gave up the race)
Soon I recognized a well known handwriting,
and like a miracle the text became clear
inside all the mess creating a message
of blinking words smiling and true
(all the people were looking at me)
and I proudly read them aloud,
words of love, sincere, a genuine
I love you.
Author notes
Theme - Poetical run between the fantasy and reality
POW
In a list
A contest entry
- (POW) Poem of the Week by Arkbear.
750 points, ended October 8, 2007, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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As much as I like this, the main problem I saw was that it's more "prose" and less "poetic" than I normally like to see. On a better note, there's still a lot to love and score well in this: the title is good, imagery wonderful, and a surprising amount of feeling for a humorous piece. Flow, as Bear said, suffered a bit, though I didn't mind the fast pace so much as not being able to take a full breath while reading.
There is some tough competition for this POW, but I'm glad to see this in the contest. It's a unique offering and a very inventive theme.
Good luck and best wishes,
~J. -
Soooo nice ~
The only MAIN, thing I am going to hit you on......is your Flow ~
It was such a fast read.......so to keep up with my brain, the best of punctuation was needed.....and it slacked a bit in that department ~
:)
But......this, and another 2 Poems are the best reads thus far......I will have a hard time placing this in order of best.....so I'm glad I have another Judge coming in ~
Please do not add or take anything away until after Julie has reviewed it ~
:)
Such an inventive Themed Write......I enjoyed it immensely!
Let's see how it scores!
God luck Sonja,
Bear ~
Title 9.8
Flow 9.2
Depth 10
Theme 10
Feelings 9.7
Grammar 9.5
Presentation 9.9
Uncommonness 10
Sit & Ponder Affect 9.7
Ability to follow Rules 10
Bears Score: 97.8
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You should be there to run next to the postman, gasping.
he, he... to see what means "the fast", lol... thank you for high scores and good wishes.
~Sonja~
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aw this was funny,and so good to read,we need more of these reads in our lives thank you for sharing this up beat poem...good luck...mm
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Dear friend are always here by my side. Thank you mm for your continuous support.
~Sonja~
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Wonderful poetry, my friend and stunning imagery and movement here. I could see this scene and it made me smile too. But of course the last line made my eyes all soft...a love letter - such a pity that the art of writing letters is something that has become "endangered"... but this poem made it come alive again. Lovely poetry.
~ Nicolette
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Yes, my dear friend, it is the past time the time of friendly postman's face we've been waiting for. Today they are only bringing to us bills to pay, lol... This poem has a special meaning, it is much more behind its funny verses.
I am glad that you like it. 
~Sonja~
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wonderful, a breathless feeling while reading ...wonderful images...aliens and underwear..such anticipation in this chase... humor and such a rewarding ending.. so very well done...PK
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Thank you PK for this so nice and uplifting comment.
~Sonja~
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This is amazingly written where would we be without out the postman when they dont decide to go on strike.
You an out standing poet this poem is just simply amazing good luck
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Thank you for this so nice comment and applause. From time to I am writing something different, like fantasy and funny but always with love. I am glad that you find it amazing
~Sonja~
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