There is a quiet place I call The High Lonesome,
where Chinook winds caress my heart and
the silvered stars bathe my soul.
There are no sirens, no lights, no exhaust.
At night, heaven’s stars waltz with their reflections
upon the lake below as the wind plays flute through
the spruce and aspen violins soothe the moon.
There are no screams, no neon, no crowds.
As dawn slowly clambers up the mountainside,
a solemn loon mourns the coming of day
with passionate calls and prayers.
There are no lineups, no cussing, no coffee.
The sunrise gilds the mountains in golds and paints
the heavens pink, while the stillness is again broken
by the splashing of trout breaking the surface to feed.
There are no alarm clocks, no radio, no commotion.
Overhead the morning sun slowly rises and osprey
cry as they ride warming winds higher into the azure
of the summer skies.
There are no troubles, no worries, no stress.
Climbing down the mountain, I am recharged;
returning to civilization yet still longing
for the loud silence of The High Lonesome.
Author notes
As with all my poetry, I appreciate constructive feedback so that I can improve as a writer. Please give it to me straight, I'm a big boy, I can take it.
Prompt: silence
In a list
A contest entry
- Your Best Pre-write of 2007 by Metaphorist.
900 points, ended January 4, 2008, 22 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Peaceful Easy Feeling by davidwright.
600 points, ended June 15, 2008, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Word Prompts by Rashida.
1100 points, ended February 10, 29 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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love the ending
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Wow. This is amazing. And I really love the title. It was perfect. Great write.
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"Climbing down the mountain, I am recharged;
returning to civilization yet still longing
for the loud silence of The High Lonesome"
We all need a place like this, I like the description of "loud silence", I picture it calling to me.
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Wow. I really, really liked this one. It sings to the blood of Nature, flowing dep in my veins. I just want to dive into it and never come back to the "real" world again. Brava.
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This is such a beautifully tender poem. I wished I was there with the stunning description you gave, to be somewhere, where your cares are none would be too good. I love the simplistic flow of this piece and the way each breath of wind caresses the reader. Excellent piece you have easy to see why it has won a few trophies. Best to you
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Respect given
I spent 22yrs driving truck, probably a good 15 in the majesty of Wyoming, Utah, Idaho, Montana. You have done a humble and beautiful job in conveying one of the most beautiful breathtaking parts of our country. I miss those sunsets everyday! Write on partner, write on.....
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Ah yes the high lonesome where a man can breathe, think pure thoughts and shake hands with his maker.
A peaceful write and easy on the eyes. Thanks for entering and happy trails -
heaven's stars with their reflections and the wind playing flute and their waltz...only a true poet can make others hear the sound of silence like this...
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I know we all have room for improvment....but I like your poem just the way it is.
Keep up the great writing
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Really great write.
Packing in to the high lakes for fly fishing, great to get away from it all. Watching a cutthroat trout flash red as he took your fly, but no Coffee!!!! sitting back and drinking a hot cup out of a U.S. Army canteen cup with a piece of cardboard on the lip so you didn't burn your lip was a big part of the experience.
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Oh how I long to go back to Algonquin and stay there forever! I love that you use colours in your descriptions. Your second stanza is my favorite. It really drew in my romance for the peace of nature. An absolutely beautiful write!
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I know this place. I go there every chance I can. You forgot to mention the waterfall though, which is my favorite part...
The only thing that I would suggest for this beautiful piece is that because this is not just any high lonesome but THE High Lonesome, capitalize "the". It really is The High Lonesome. Best of luck in the contest!
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I've received a few nature-related poems for my contest. This is the best I've read so far. I love the inclusion of the single lines in between the descriptions of natures wonders. I think they really individuate the piece from others like it. Loved this!
Thanks for entering. Good luck in my contest and in the New Year! -
well i have to say that i truly enjoyed the read i too enjoy the quiet for the most part..i have no place to run from all the commotion and even if i did i would still have to take the kids and of course the coffee..thank you for entering and good luck...
~~DI~~ -
Your words brought a feeling of peace and tranquility with them. I can see why you would be longing to return to the High Lonesome. Your poetry is beautiful and rich with understated images.
Margaret
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so refreshing
This is an incredible write. I felt so soothe and refreshed by this. Lovely Nature walk.
Lady Dragonwyck
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Beautiful
Yes I too love the nature sounds and the peace found in listening to only nature and viewing the heavens without interuption. Great write here
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Excellant/imaginative/intriguing
Well, my friend, on this one; a couple of suggestions:
1) The length of sentences, and rhythm in the 2nd and fouth stanzas could be reworked. 2) "As dawn slowly clambers up the mountainside; with passionate calls and prayers, a solemn loon, mouns the coming of day", what do you think? Other than these suggestions, I thought the write was fine. The imagery was excellant.
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You know, Earth To Jim referred me to your works and I added you as a favorite several days ago but haven't yet had the chance to wander through your pages. I can now see why he referred me. It's a pleasure to come here and just click on something that has such a soft, tender, tranquil effect on the soul. This has brought a certain amount of peacefulness to my spirit that was not only most surprising to find, but also much needed and much appreciated. Keep the ink flowing dear poet! I'll be back for more when I get a free moment.
♥ Touchof1der
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one of your best, very beautiful
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Right about now I could use some of that wonderful recharging. It all sounds so perfect and beautiful to the mind...excellent...mal
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At night, heaven’s stars waltz with their reflections
upon the lake below as the wind plays flute through
the spruce and aspen violins soothe the moon.
that is the best bit of the poem by far.
in all the poem is extreamly good, and well worth every applause it gets! well done on a perfect poem!
Susan
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Ah, this poem is extremely relaxing. Even as I read it I could feel myself becoming suddenly stress free. I love how you contrasted civilization and the "high Lonesome". It reminds us that sometimes we need to go back to nature to cleanse our minds, and not worry so much about the highly polluted world of man. Your personification and imagery is beautiful as well.
My favorite lines have to be 5-7
"At night, heaven’s stars waltz with their reflections
upon the lake below as the wind plays flute through
the spruce and aspen violins soothe the moon."
Though loud silence is cliche,I think it definitely works in the last part. I don't have any suggestions, but you did a stunning job, write on!
~Nevermind-
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thanks for the kind words, much appreciated.
Rory
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Great stuff!
You are on my faves for a reason. However, after capturing me totally and completely for 11 lines, now that I am a hostage of the High Lonely, now that I am loftily poised at the top of the world you're telling me THERE'S NO DAMN COFFEE?! You'd better get your sorry ass back down the mountain and BRING ME MY COFFEE!!! What next? NO BACON?!
OK, that's number one.
Ahhh, I feel so much better.
Number two, a little more serious, last line, grrr... I hate using the 'c' word, but "loud silence" does smack of cliche. Deafenig- thundering- etc. with regard to silence have, in this reader's estimation, run their course. Profound silence, is the best alternative I can come up with in the few minutes I've been sitting here. So, in spite of what one might see as a few gnats on the face of perfection, I give you six thumbs up as indicated below.
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Happy now? Now sit down and behave yourself!
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haha, there's no need for coffee on the mountain...the winds will shake the cobwebs from the skull in no time at all! Loud silence is cliche....I'll see what I can come up with given time to edit. Many thanks.
Rory
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i can really see where you were going with this poem. but for some reason it didnt pull a string with. i dont maybe its to early. it was a great write, the only thing missing was that it didnt envoke any emotion, and thats maybe a problem on my part so i'll give it a solid A.
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The imagery in this is outstanding...what I really like is how I can feel being here from these words in this poem, it appeals to all my senses.. a very beautiful write, I guess you have been saving this one up!
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ooohhhh....
i love he imagery here!!
this poem is so great!!
i especially like these lines -
At night, heaven’s stars waltz with their reflections
upon the lake below as the wind plays flute through
the spruce and aspen violins soothe the moon.
keep it up, his is so good!! -
ooohhhh....
i love he imagery here!!
this poem is so great!!
i especially like these lines -
At night, heaven’s stars waltz with their reflections
upon the lake below as the wind plays flute through
the spruce and aspen violins soothe the moon.
keep it up, his is so good!!
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