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Materializing Craft

Materializing Craft

Placed on hard wood writing with fingers actuated and brilliant,
while feet float covering bass and manage manipulation of volume.
so as to accentuate the crescendo.

This allurement and I construct the anthem
my heart sings.
Bars inked with history,
spilling out rhythmic bestowal
until my musical thespian cannot flow anymore.

Author notes

I am very sentimental about what I am writing about in this one, My 30 year old antique organ

Updated written date to today etc...as this is truly my most favourite write of my own and i love visiting it and my organ as often as possible

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15
  • Virgoan
    June 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    indeed a personal write...well done...

    keep sharing your gift.


    HENSLEY


  • LadyDementia gold member
    April 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Congrats on the silver!

    Nice to have something that means so much, must hold wonderful memories for you This is a superb poem, well thought out and woven together perfectly. Congrats on the silver

  • ichigosama
    April 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    ichigosama

    this antique you have must really be special. nice imagery to put the reader on a imagining plane. bars inked with history, spilling out rhythmic bestowal. i love it. keep writing and thanks for entering.


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    April 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I can see why this is a favourite.. it is absolutely gorgeous hun!!!

    That organ sounds well loved and precious to you... amazing write!


  • quack silver member
    February 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    really good auntie
    i love you


  • CherryOnTop
    February 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on the silver!!!I love organ music baby..I use to play..U have a priceless treasure...


  • leslielovesthomas
    February 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow! I love this poem! Your word choice is incredible.

    Beautifully written!!!

    Leslie


  • aeolia
    November 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thanks so much for posting this-- I was nearly sinking into despair from the shitty entries in my contest, haha. This is pretty good. I'd suggest some punctuation wherever necessary; it was kind of hard to tell where the breaks and pauses were, you know?

    One critique I have of this, though, was that it sounded like you pulled words from a thesaurus. I like complexity in poetry, but it's got to be simple complexity, if that makes sense to you. Some of the words just didn't fit, but that's probably just a personal preference.

    "This allurement and I
    construct the anthem
    my heart sings"
    Awesome. Thanks for entering!

    --Cristina

    • MaMa-2-be-Cindy
      November 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you
      The punctuation, I could agree with, after looking at it again, lol

      I have to disagree with the last critique. I never put a word in there if it doesn't fit. But if you feel it really seems like it doesnt, could you let me know which ones or something

      I really appreciate that you didn't just say it's great and gave me more, I have been struggling to have people do that on here

      So thank you very much


      Cindy


  • Chelsea Void
    October 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This allurement and I
    construct the anthem
    my heart sings

    that stanza really made the poem stream with sentimentality. I really liked this. I love my instrument too (for me, my black yamaha guitar), so I can definitely relate to the affinity you feel towards your source of musicality. great piece

  • piccola silver member
    October 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    musicly writen, thank you for your entry

1 - 15 of 15