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Mr. Positive

Hey angel, I've caught
soft memories in your glance
of what was once genuine serenity
and through salt and effigies
of sorrow
I could still tell when you were smiling

You doubted that wonderment could exist
as anything other than shadows behind the sun
but made it so that, it existed as your attribute
You could end...living wingless
If it meant a moment in the sky

Hey angel, no matter
how fluttered you appear
you still soar, if only as a kite
held by thoughts
You soar, to mock those that crawl

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • yourbentangel
    November 19, 2007

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    This took my breath away. I have to wonder if you know me personally, there are not many people on this site that do and this really hit home and nailed me perfectly!Thank you for entering.... Good luck


  • MenschMariah
    October 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    sad...

    Not sure if that's what this poem was meant to be like, but it makes me think of a hopeless child or something...weird. Ha but brillant as always...luved this!!! "Don't mock me , cause I crawl!" lol

    ~Tess


  • shirk
    October 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love the last line.
    You have a way with those, don'tcha?

    We should talk more!
    You should get on msn post haste.
    Mhm.

    Anyway, I love this whole thing...It's a tad bit different from your other poetry though.
    Which is ok.

    I like them both.


  • Exhaled Cynn
    October 6, 2007

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    The second stanza is brilliant and powerful! You did a wonderful job...The only thing that throws this off is the flow of the piece seems a little broken in some places...But the more times you read through it the better it flows...I just thought I'd point that out! Brilliant piece, as usual!

    Cynn

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    October 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Adore "living wingless if it meant a moment in the sky"

1 - 5 of 5