As I pluck the hands of the clock,
the pendelum swings to a damped tune.
Stranded visions to empty picture frames,
of soon to be memories of the past.
I glaze my tounge to my wet pale lips,
enjoying my sweet juice of summer...
Critics and critiques are welcome :)
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
This is a sweet and gentle evocation with so much said in so few words. Couple of typos - pendelum = pendulum; tounge = tongue

-
From adolescence to adulthood... those times just fly by and than one day you find yourself sitting amongst yourself trying to cature your lost youth while enjoying looking at the old photos of yesterday's tomorrows.


-
Beautiful. Succinct and wonderful imagery


-
yeah, those were the days...of idleness, leisure thoughts, just sitting around with friends or by yourself--thinking of girls...lol
-
Your Inner Child will return ...
Don't worry my young sister. We all have to go through this ... and I'm sure the 'vanity' you are feeling is a bit distasteful when you think back on the innocence of being a child. She’s still there … and will come out as you develop your own female gifts. The old restrictions (picture frame) are just expanding. Thanks for the great poem. Love, Sultan

-
I think the title was somewhat misleading. I was expecting something very different.
-
Wow. Nice one. So much said in very few words. excellent work.
-
So well written for so little words..... Our lives do pass us by so quick but we must keep up with the world as we know it . this old place will not slow down for us . I like your ending..... the sweet juices of summer .... very nice ... because there is never a summer that is ever the same .. you did a nice job on this piece and thanks for sharing!!!!
-
Interesting way of writing about this topic in your title - think you meant to say swings in that second line. Time certainly does not stand still and you have said that well here. Liked that ending - sweet juice of summer works well with the title, as do the couplets in each verse.

1 - 9 of 9








