Somewhere out there,
deep in the night,
there exists a forest,
where there is no plight.
troubles and worries are left on the path,
your demons snared,
stare at your back.
In this forest of Sakura,
Lined with Bambo,
there lies a clearing where dreams can come true.
Near the lake the petals fall
Dancing and floating along the squall.
I turn my eyes up towards the heavens
thanking whoever for the gift they have brought me.
Cool wind caresses our cheeks
and I pull you closer
into my heart
Author notes
Suggestions welcome and same with criticisms.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I really liked this poem myself. You used good imagery and the word usage made me want to go to this special forest. I think it could be longer, explaining magic of this forest that would be a hideaway from all stresses of the world. Just a thought. But anyhow, you did a great job!
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Liked the flow and the vivid visuals these lines share. Easy to read and understand, the odd rhyme used. Think you mean bamboo in line two of that second verse. Keep writing...
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I like the figure of speech and how you had used the ideas of cherry blossoms and bamboos.
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WOW!
seriously, like the best thing i've read on this site yet. Its so inspirational. It makes me think of a euphoria, which you have managed to create with your amazing words. Keep on truck'n
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Rhyme very well done, flows like a river. I love
the mysterious element of the dark forest. I don't
rhyme, I'm a free verse writer, but I do appreciate
rhyme done well.
Red -
this poem is so full of detail and vivid imagry. I love the flow. I just finnished reading a romance novel today and this reminds me of a scene from the book. its so precious.
I know that spelling is in no way MY forte, but I do think you mean "petals" not "pedals". I'm sorry if I am wrong. But this poem is just so wonderful. -
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thanks you're right about the spelling and i changed it X). Spelling isn't my strong suit eather :-p
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