Subconcious streams of thought,
a fantasy, something to strive for.
Feelings of lust, love, want,
coming to light, being discovered.
The golden ring,
hanging just out of reach.
Don't reach too far,
the abyss is below,
waiting to swallow you.
Wet dreams await,
smiling sleep,
good feelings,
yessssss...
An unconscious reality.
Dreams become real when waking collides with REM sleep.
Author notes
Love you baby.
In a list
A contest entry
- Dreaming / Nightmares by Naridill.
300 points, ended October 17, 2007, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tasty
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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'The golden ring,
hanging just out of reach.
Don't reach too far,
the abyss is below,
waiting to swallow you.'
Loved that, it was mesmerizing, but I think the parts after were a little overboard lol. Graphic [ and oh the graphics are strong ]
The first two stanzas were beautiful, flowed really nicely into each other and left senses feeling tantalized. I really would suggest editing the last part but only if you agree.
Thanks for entering & much luck.
p.s Let me know if you edit. -
Nice picture. (=
This piece presented itself as more rationale that dreamlike, with the strong coherence of ideas and sense of reflection.
Makes me wonder and makes me feel abit.
(= thanks for sharing.
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this was a wonderful write and so beautifully penned
i loved the take on the prompt
well done and best of luck
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Wonderful penning here.
A great dream indeed.
Best wishes to you in this contest.
Tory
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Sounds like a pretty cool dream to me
Wishing you all the very best in this contest, my friend!
Many hugs,
Sandy
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