Snag the razor from the shelf
[Take me away]
Pull the skin, nice and taut
[I don't want to be here]
Throw back my head
[I want to go home]
Pain makes way for pain
[But where is home now?]
Emotional for physical
[I'm lost, I'm lost]
Finally, an escape
[But is being lost so bad?]
A way out of my skin
[Alone... but not lonely]
A way out of my mind
[Please, nobody find me]
If only for a moment...
[I don't want to go back now]
I'm finally free
[I'm finally free]
Author notes
A form a friend and I created... it's as of yet unnamed, though the friend proposes 'shadow poem'... I don't know. The non-bracketed lines are one poem, the bracketed ones another, but they make one together too. They fit alone as in words and meaning, but they're really only complete together. They sort of shadow into each other, rather than fitting together perfectly, hence the name proposal of shadow.
A contest entry
- Un-do the emo cliches by AutumnsFlame.
791 points, ended November 4, 2007, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think--or don't, because I don't much care.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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hmmm.... cool idea for a poem. I like it. I liked it a lot. When I read the whole thing the brackets just add something to it. Kind of a mystery-ish feel. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
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Thanklies muchlies
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This write is pleasingly intense! I can feel these strong emotions you've expressed here!
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Thanks much
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wow
i really like it
it really does fit together
as for the words
i love it
nicely writen
i would give you an 8
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Thanks ^_^
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