She wants him back
she wants those nights back
she cant help but think
she will never have him again
she wishes she could undo
all the mistakes
all the lies
but she cant
she wants to hold him again
she wants to be baby again
what went wrong?
what happened?
she has to remember that not everything
needs or gets to be forgiven
she thinks often of times
when they'd stay up late talking
He was her angel
in the middle of her nightmare
She was his baby
someone to hold forever
Author notes
option 2
loving someone you cant have
A contest entry
- Inspire me xXx show me your FEELINGS xXx TOUCH ME! by xblakxrosexremainsx.
420 points, ended October 24, 2007, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - OPTIONS(enter anything you like)PW allowed by ExpectingMommy18.
900 points, ended October 16, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sadness in The Heart of The Heart by Cari Cullen.
300 points, ended October 22, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Guaranteed Comments! by Nam.
425 points, ended October 23, 2007, 72 entries
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400 points, ended December 19, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Countryfied and Chicken Fried by davidwright.
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• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Another song of unrequited love. Thanks for your entry and happy trails.
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It's fine if one doesn't wish to use the apostrophe in designated words, in some poems it hurts, where as other poems it doesn't really matter. I feel this is of the latter rather than the former, therefore in this line:
"when they'd stay up late talking"
I feel that you should remove the apostrophe from "they'd" and make it "theyd" since you do not use apostrophes in the other words before (or after) that line. Or just place the apostrophe in the words they are supposed to be in; I'd rather one did that then not do it at all.
A nice poem that you have written here.
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This is very sad..and I like it
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mean the poem is sad but it has really hit the spot i have and still am feeling this way...this is deep.
Thanks so much for sharing and best wishes to you in the contest.
Tory
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great
sad but beautiful... sawsome job!! -
BRAVA
I HARDLY HAVE WORDS TO WRITE A DECENT COMMENT EXCEPT THAT I MISS THE ONE THAT I LOST I MISS BEING HIS BABY. I MISS HAVING HIS HEART. THANK YOU FOR BEING ABLE TO PUT INTO WORDS WHAT IVE BEEN LONGING TO SAY FOR A VERY LONG TIME.
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Personally I think that a bit of capitalization and grammer would be very helpful. Also the last line of the fourth verse and the last line of the poem put together are slightly confusing. Overall the flow is pretty good but it does break in a few places.
I love the way you end the poem with a simpilization that sums up the poetry and your emotion perfectly. I can just hear the words as a whisper on a late night breeze, 'She was his angel, he was her baby. -
awww
this was sooo sweet
i mean the poem is sad but it has really hit the spot i have and still am feeling this way...its so hard to get over even though you know you should...good luck in the contest and thank you so much for entering -
I can relate!!
This poem is gorgeous! <3
It reminded me of someone who left that I love so much!
This is my favorite part:
"she wants to hold him again
she wants to be baby again"
My advice is that you should try and not repeat words that much.
This was short, it made you want to scroll down and look for more!! But it was beautiful <3
Thanks for entering this full of love and nostalgic poem, that I loved!
Good Luck!!! <3
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