Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Temptation

Look into my eye
tell me what you see
is it dark, is it ugly
or is it beauty?

The eye is the window
to the soul I have heard
look hard, look deep
you'll see it's not blurred

Look into my eye
see my life story told
you'll see I've lived long
but my soul is not old.

The eye is the window
that looks deep inside
Don't turn away now
cause I've nothing to hide






Picture created by my Best friend Amber

Author notes

Picture created by Amber
Poem written by me

My Best friend Amber made this picture. She is a free member so she could not post it, so I am posting it for her. I think it is amazing. Feel free to comment and please let her know what you think of this picture by visiting her page

JohnnysAmborz~http://allpoetry.com/JohnnysAmborz
Please do not take or steal this picture without her permission. Thank you

Please tell me what you think.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Stormy Days
    January 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    another great write this is really good i like the last line... all the poems is great though


  • storiesuntold gold member
    January 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Very good write here

    To look within the eyes tells all and those who have something to hide will always look away but the true of heart holds the vision with tenderness and love . Great write


  • Miss Faerie Greeters member
    November 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    The picture is gorgeous
    The poem well worded and the flow is excellent


  • Lady Eventide
    November 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I don't know which to comment on first: the poem or the artwork. Well, I'll start with the poem. The emotions you convey by just mentioning the eye is really quite fascinating. The eyes are the windows to the soul, and you really went into this, I think. As for the picture, it is very beautiful. Wow. Both of them make an almost explosive combination. Good job.

  • storiesuntold gold member
    October 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    So true and beautiful write


  • astralshepherd gold member
    October 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering the contest and while the poem is a good one, solid in many ways but fails, I think, to meet the content requirements of the contest to ‘tell me why’ It is an unoriginal concept but socred average there. The flow, form and rhyme are what carry this from a boring poem to one that has merit and it makes for an enjoyable read. Thank you again, for entering it in the contest, I appreciate your effort very much. Blessings and best wishes, ~richard



    1) Content 1
    2) Originality 7.5
    3) Flow 10
    4) Word choice (vocabulary and/or rhyme) 9
    5) Imagery 5.5

    6) Grammar 8.5
    7) Form 9.5
    8) Spelling 10
    9) Emotional Impact 7.5
    10) Rumination factor (how well does the poem make me ponder) 7.5

    astralshepherd’s completely subjective total score =76


  • poeticweaver gold member
    October 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Nice,

    A wonderful piece inspired here from the eye, the window of the soul.. wow, a well versed piece of descriptive poetry. Thanks for sharing, peace.

    -Timothy


  • ellipsist
    October 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    the poem matches the picture

    very well...

    very fascinating image... captivating...


  • Arizona Sunset
    October 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I am a lover of the eyes...I always look into the eyes of those I meet, I do believe they are the windows to the soul...I loved the imagery, loved the poem...and I am jealous...I want a picture like this! Loved it love it! thank you for sharing...


  • Fearylynn
    October 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this poem *and the picture!*

    I've always been told my eyes are extremely expressive. I tend to wear my every emotion in my eyes..its very disconcerting.

    This is something I would often like to express:

    "Don't turn away now
    cause I've nothing to hide"

    So many times I wish I was comfortable letting people see what I'm feeling.


  • HubertCumberdale
    October 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wonderful. i love the simplicity of it all. it's really nice to read something that's real.


  • jcat gold member
    October 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Gorgeous

    The picture is just gorgeous and actually says all that poem does if you really look deep.. Both are magnificent works of art.


  • VirginiaDarling
    October 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    From first glance of the picture without reading the poem that goes with it, I got the asumption of and evil eyed person, very mean, but however after reading the poem, I got the idea of a sad, depressed person, looking for love, and happiness, or of someone who had had a hard life. Either way I loved it, this was a great poem, Keep up the good work, and tell your friend to keep comeing up with great pictures.


  • cybilseyes silver member
    October 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    fricken awesome tell her to keep up the great work I love it!

  • springstorm
    October 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I think it's beautiful. Haunting even


  • Amborz
    October 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    YAY ME!!

    HEHE Thanks Jess ..I'm very proud of this picture and I appreciate you putting this up for me

    I hope you all love it!

1 - 16 of 16