Feed your lust upon my body
she moaned,
but leave my soul alone
I cannot give
what I haven’t got.
Do not fall in love with me,
she wailed
in her impassioned plea,
ascetic me
you knew this from the start.
I crave no one, I am a stone,
a fortress
in these lands removed
A scabbard for
this impervious heart
I did not seek you out
to fill this void
where I choose to dwell.
With emptiness
I long to be the bride
So leave me now I need you not,
be swift,
hear wisdom calling.
Misguided soul,
philanthropist denied
Copyright © Henri Ferguson 2003
Author notes
In conversation with someone who declared herself a loner the seed for this poem was planted. Although this is very much an extrapolation of that conversation and perhaps removed from her reality I have known others who push away those that would bring them their greatest gift. My poetic spin on that.
Written October 4th, 2003
In a list
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Comments
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Do not remember ever commenting or critiquing anything you've ever written on this website. Been here a long time, I might have.
I like the solemn read of the piece. The sadness that evokes from not only the words but from the imagery. I do think punctuation would be good in certain lines or at least those certain lines to be rewritten as to where punctuation wouldn't be apparently needed. But, that's in how I read it. I could have read incorrectly.
Overall: a good piece here.
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This makes me sad... i know her feelings and I understand that emptiness... the kind that can't be filled by anyone... sometimes we just aren't ready to allow it, sometimes we have to put something in ourselves first... i think we can all pretend to not "need" others, but we really are so very connected.
Thought-provoking poem, makes me take a long hard look at myself.
~ Wendy
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Hmmm I saw myself in her. I forever seeking freedom. Yet I don't see myself pushing anyone away as much as avoiding being bound. This is very thought provoking. I love the way you think.
Red -
I need no heart
To hold my own
Fore I stand Alone~
Upon this Island
I call mine alone
I map it's paths
So only I can walk them~
I really liked this~I can relate to it~
you worded it wonderfully~
A really great write~
~Smiles~Emma -
I'm held by the lines of the 3rd verse, all of it - so barricaded, protected, self-protective,
I think we have all been that fortress or scabbard at some point. And the 1st verse, the way lust is brought right out like an accusation, but the soul is denied, another kind of protective device, a hollow state. this poem has depths and then more, but then that's what we've come to expect from you in perspicacious mood. Do I read more into 'do not you fall in love with me' than I ought? It doesn't roll easily, as if the emphasis is that 'you' should not fall in love with her, is this a particular danger she recognises? Poor misguided souls, all of us, who have tried to prevent further joy for fear of further hurt. A good write, Henri, thank you -
Oh, I have so been here before... shut myself off to anyone who dared to get too close for fear of getting hurt again. I dont know what was discussed in the conversation with your firend, but I will say that you captured truth and honest emotions in this poem. This is very well written, Henri. Thanks - Helen
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Love is a simple concept , it is we who complicate it by
imposing conditions and attempting to define and analyse it
constantly...as opposed to simply giving , or accepting...
unconditional love is a rare thing in its truest form...
The person you describe so poetically sounds familiar...
so many drift through life attempting to remain objective
and distanced ( emotionally ) but in doing so I think we
lose the essence of who we are...it DOES make the world
go round in many respects and is what we live for...I know
I certainly do...though I hate admitting I need to rely
on anyone for anything...
Really thought provoking write Henri...
~ sonia ~
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Poet Henri
You voiced this complicated psychological message accurately and clearly - the persona of this poem does need time and introspection, as Maddie commented so neatly.
Ah! I loved the reference to " ... their greatest gift ..." in to author's comment. That gift may differ from person to person ...
Man is so simple and predictable, yet so complicated.
Thank you for sharing, Friend.
Love.
Myra
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I can relate to this.. I don't know why I always push away those who show an interest in me. Maybe I'm not ready.. or I'm just an independant spirit.
do not you fall in love with me
she wailed
in her impassioned plea
ascetic me
you knew this from the start
**this is my favorite stanza
~Scarlet
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I so know this feeling, and you did a great job of conveying it
in your poem... I am so good at pushing people away, even though
I know it's a stupid thing to do. Thanks for writing this.
Jen
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The key seems to be in "I cannot give.....what I haven't got".
I would wonder if she is in a place where she feels so incomplete, so disjointed perhaps inside that she is simply not ready to risk her heart yet. Perhaps not a perinnial place she dwells but a temporary one. And I do give her credit for knowing where she is. At least she knows her boundaries, no matter how we view her stance, she took one...Healthy or not. Time, and introspection may be all she needs.
Would be curious as to your thoughts on the matter.
Maddie
Edited on Oct 05, 11:44 because ''. -
As always, you'll forever stay the incurable social worker.
Love.
Myra -
such truth to this...
in all its denial it proves what is needed the most
xo
loved this. -
You spin very well here. Many times we shut off the world in order to protect that which we hold dear, but what are we holding it for? I would much rather risk the hurt than put up that fortress and live in the safety of a sad solitude. Nicely written, Henri.
~ becky
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I feel so sorry for anyone who denies love and turns away from the one who could give it to them. "There, but for the grace of God, go I." I hope that those who read your poem and recognize themselves in it, learn from it. Well done!
<3 Maureen
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I think I've been on both ends of situations like this, so I can definitely relate. On one hand, you can find yourself really feeling a strong desire to reach out and make a difference in the lives of those in pain. On the other, sometimes people just have to find their own answers to life. Great write.
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There was a time, shortly after my divorce, when I would fight tooth and nail to prove I needed no man...and that love was pure illusions. I thought I was being honest at the time... LOL Amazes me all the time when my honesty with myself soon turns to lies I never even knew I told.
I enjoyed this very much...and can admit I see myself there ever so slightly. But... eyes open..I move forward to tomorrow and..a touching of the heart.
Hugs Henri...I love reading your writes...
Mary Ann -
In my cynical mind at the moment being a loner doesn't sound half bad. The imagery that you chose really captures how I've been feeling. Thanks for this.
~Angela
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