This poem is the third in a series about a hapless married couple named Desmond and Myrtle. Thus far, Myrtle has managed to wreak havoc in Desmond's shed with an electric drill, and Desmond has taken Myrtle camping, much against her better judgement(due to the fact that she suffers from a weak bladder). This little 'sojourn' came about by way of an apology...sort of...on Desmond's behalf.
They both set off in an expansive mood
for the yacht had looked great in the pictures they’d viewed.
They stopped off and bought some sparkling wine,
and the weather was perfect: Sunny and fine.
Myrtle was thrilled when at last they arrived
for the sight of the yacht made her feel so revived!
It lay at its berth, all gleaming and sleek ~
a symbol of glamour, wealth and mystique.
The captain, quite splendid in eye-blinding white
said, "Welcome aboard the Queen of the Night!"
And forthwith he summoned a fresh-faced young lad
to show them their cabin: "The Den of Baghdad".
Their luggage arrived and they drank their Champagne,
they toasted the pirates of the great Spanish Main!
They clinked their glasses once, twice and thrice,
and Myrtle said gaily, "Oooh, isn’t this nice?"
She noticed a plaque on the wall by the bed
and put on her specs to read what it said:
The items provided are yours to enjoy ~
So fire-up your libido, now! Don’t be coy!
Puzzled, she opened the drawer underneath
and found fluffy handcuffs in a leather-bound sheath;
things made of rubber with switches and dials
and pictures of folks wearing nothing but smiles!
Looking quite baffled, she rummaged about
and pulled what looked like a black sausage out…
Then seeing a dial, she turned it a fraction ~
and dropped it in shock as it burst into action!
She looked in horror as of its own volition
the quivering sausage crawled off on a mission!
Under the bed it limped and it bumped
‘til against the bulkhead it repeatedly thumped!
“Good grief!” Exclaimed Myrtle, “What on earth is this stuff?”
but Desmond didn’t answer, oddly enough…
She knew straight away that sheepish expression
meant Desmond was nursing a guilty confession.
He suddenly seemed to have come over all queer
and his smile looked brittle and most insincere.
But then he admitted in mortified fashion
the theme of the cruise was ‘Indulgence of Passion’!
Defeated, he stood there and shrugged at his wife
WHO HAD NEVER BEEN MORE UPSET IN HER LIFE!!
And the sausage beat out its relentless tattoo ~
creating a heck of a hullabaloo!
Sighing, poor Desmond got down on his knees
but under the bed was too much of a squeeze.
He just couldn’t manage to grab the damn thing
that had ruined his dream of a romantic fling.
And when Breakfast in Bed was brought in the next day,
that buzzing black sausage was still banging away!
...He reflected quite glumly as they re-packed their stuff ~
he should’ve known he would meet with rebuff!
In a list
A contest entry
- Pre Written Rhyme by piccola.
900 points, ended February 5, 2008, 23 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Like to Chuckle... by Loveberry.
700 points, ended November 2, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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OOOOOOOHHHHH!
I think I need a swig of ginger wine after that lot! Great work as ever.
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Oh this was seriously funny I can't believe it didn't get a gold
I actually laughed out loud and my imagination ran riot
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abrupt close is always bad no punch.
You have the quality of a story teller who can make you climb a tree.
Here you leave the person with no alternative to jump and break his neck.
On the whole excellent.
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loved the rhyme and flow and this story is a hoot! Thanks so much for this entry. I am rolling with laughter that I very much need. You describe adult toys rather well I think
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This, though written with euphemisms, is adult content. I clearly expressed in my rules that I don't want to read adult content.
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Loved this to bits...such great rhythm and humour!
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Oh my, how happy I am to see Desmond and Myrtle again, he still is a cheeky old devil isn't he. Brilliantly written hun, I have missed these two, can't wait till the next one
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