Winds, do drift through my soul
Eyes closed, all alone, and dreaming
Trees sway, and I sway with them
Standing still and together, I sway
I can hear her voice, and I am still
All alone, but not alone, I sway
As winds drift across my face
I feel her come unto me, as I sway
She whispers softly on my neck
"I am here" and I sway
And then she kisses my soul
As her wings do unfold
And as winds drift through me
Trees sway and we sway with them
Standing still and together, we sway
I can hear her voice and we are still
She stands beside me and breaths in the winds
With butterflies in her eyes, her spirit transcends
And I am there as those winds, carry her away
With golden tears in my eyes, I sway
Because I know she'll be back again, some day
Author notes
A contest entry
- meh by Anonymous Shadow.
300 points, ended January 24, 2008, 72 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Shakespeare hates your emo poems by katie-jo.
1000 points, ended December 28, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter Your best. by Antebellum.
550 points, ended July 9, 169 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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Thanks so much for entering
&&
Good luck.
[if you are placed in the finalists I will leave a better comment]
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Very Beautiful
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This poem is so wonderful and lovely. I know those aren't the best words but I can't think of the right ones to discribe how beautiful this poem was. The last two lines brought tears to my eyes.
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Simply marvelous.
Such a beautiful piece, I truly enjoyed it. Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.
Merry Christmas!
~katiebird -
a dance and sway to a heartfelt romance celebrated within a whisp of time!
Beautiful work my friend! Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill
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Lovely day dream you had here - easy to read and understand, liked the flow and the vivid visuals. Lots of swaying going on in these lines. Nice golden winner - way to go.
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this is awesome... something with complexity yet simplicity... a deeper yet on the surface meaning .. keep on writing ... crys
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Incredibly beautiful,lovely and uniqueWorthy of your Gold trophy!!!!
GBY
SilverButterfly
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intriguing
that's a really interesting poem...i don't really know what it is but it's beautiful but sooo wonderfuly simple and that didn't make much sense but all i'm saying is i liked it. -
Excellent Poem And Congrats on the Gold Trophy Beautiful Day Dream You had Great imagination. Great Imagery as well I enjoyed reading this and look forward to reading more of your Writes
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Thank you. I was sitting in my chair actually feeling myself swaying to a rhythm in my head. It was quit a feeling
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I'm glad you won a gold medal for this cause it's beautiful. You are very talented!
~Kimber -
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Thank you, I was very inspired that night. It was the night I let go of all fear of falling in love again. Thanks again!
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This is a great poem.
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You Big Brute ~
You actually had me *sighing*
sniffles
....you two are made for each other :)
Bear ~
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fantastic!
The use of the word sway, at the right places, gives this a song-like quality. Simply superb, and a dream worth dreaming! Congrats, poet
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This was beautiful!!!!! I was swaying with you while reading. I love the softness about it, wanting to take someone in my own arms and just hold them and just dream the day away. You did a great job with this one and I hope whom you wrote it for enjoys it also. Good job, great read and good luck in the contest
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This is an excellent poem. It's poetic, and I can clearly picture this in my mind. Beautiful touch with the photo.
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awwww I loved it
it was good !!!!!!I love how you used the wind in the poem -
this was gorgeous!!!
my favorite part would have to be...
"And then she kisses my soul"
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Man that had me thinking about some Ancient fairytale times. This was a good read.
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You seem to be in this poem, like 1)the Bulk of the tree overlooking , searching and the autumn fall, expected to fall into her arms, very romantic, in spite of its sadness.
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Butterfly Queen, or an Angel's wings, so lovely to behold, beautiful, if truth be told. Sway, little brother, to her song, listen carefully, while the angels sing along. This write does my heart good, a message of sweet love, told as it should...
I love you both, with all my heart, and wish the best for the both of you, in all your art,
love,
Jin
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Oh my how precious and exquisite!
This is touching and beautiful, I am grateful to have had a glimpse into your soul. You have a powerful way of conveying emotions, you grab at the reader's heart and run away with it. Your poetry is exceptionally great and your words are wonderfully woven throughout. I enjoyed this very much!!!
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This is a beautiful write.
enchanting! Good luck!
Smile,
Judy
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Stunning
So romantic, I love the word sway-really lends the idea of butterfly wings somehow, all soft movements, or caresses. A truly beautiful piece of poetry, made all the more so as a real person has inspired it!! Wonderful.
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Thank you for your comment. OK, it's like 5:30 in the morning, I need some sleep. Thanks again, and have a wonderful day.
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Beautifully written...
Whoever this poem is for, must be extremely beauteous. The poem does justice to her elegance.
I loved the way it went on with those lovely phrases. The butterflies,the swaying with trees etc. add excellent texture.
Overall, a fine work with great emotional blends.
P.S. Isn't it spelled 'transcend' and not 'transend'?
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Thank you for the lovely comment. I have read it now about 30 times, just to make sure it is perfect. It has come to be my favorite work to date. Thank you again.
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This is soft and has the resonance of butterfly wings within the repetition. Ashley is a lucky girl to have someone liken her to something as wonderful as this does. Love, C
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Thank you for your comment. And, I don't know if she's lucky, but she sure is cute............
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I am not sure whom this was written for, but whomever it may be for will or should be delighted by these words. To be compared to a butterfly queen brings forth visions of faeries with hearts aflutter that touch the world with their essence and beauty, and it is obvious that you have been touched in a very special way. I loved the repetition of "and I sway". It gave an almost musicl/lyrical feel to the reader
best wishes,
reenie
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Thank you sooooo much for your comment, It was a pleasure writing it. She means a great deal to me. Thank you again.
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very beautifully written my dear, wow this is simply gorgeous and so full of emotion and imagery and as nice as the name is you have titled this for her, it doesn't come close to the true beauty of her or her heart, although this poem is wonderful best of luck in the contest. be well and be blessed
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Thanks Mooma, and yes I know.
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