I cried more
than a couple
of times
snide remarks
in spines since
I bruised like
a peach
all the things
I preached
crooked on
the floor with
me-
crocks
that needed
to be abused-
I glued two
& two together
like you would
never have
guessed
since I knew
there was
probably a
reason you
hated me
liars dressed
as twins
& said
that friends
were used
goods
& I should
sell more
of them
“you’re a
hypocrite”
you told me
and I said
no
"I'm a woman"
Author notes
Prompt: lie
zil
A contest entry
- don't rush 2 by layla..
300 points, ended October 26, 2007, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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i agree with lee-sharp. you made me say "ohhhh"... you did... I loved it. beautiful
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ha. nice. i like your take on the prompt and the sparce internal rhyme (which was more than likely accidental). as the people belwo me pointed out, the ending makes the peice.
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This so great!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love everything about it! The flow was wonderful! The words were like a really gem glittering from sunlight! This is with out doubt one of the greatest poems that I have ever read on this website! I love the last line "I'm a woman." The only that puzzle me is why you chose the title of poem. I really don't see how it works with the poem. Still fablous poem. Totally should win the contest. Good luck in that.
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thanks em. Tell me when you've written something and I'll stop by and have a look.
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fucking killer ending.
holy hell.
“you’re a
hypocrite”
you told me
and I said
no
"I'm a woman"
probably the wittiest and most clever little snippet I've come across in a long time. & a wonderful piece as a whole. Best of luck in the contest! -
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LOL thanks. I appreciate it.
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