I was sitting on my front porch
and you were lingering
in a luxurious green room
backstage somewhere
approximately
eight-hundred
and ninety
miles away
through incessant static
and cell phone service
that came and went
as often as you did
I was telling you
how great it was
to have finally
succeeded at
quitting smoking
the way you’d always
hoped I would
and you were telling me
how you’d finally
confessed everything
to your wife
and that
the two of you
were as finished
as the ten-song set
you’d just
performed
meanwhile, as I listened
to your empty promises
I lit up a cigarette
and sucked the
toxic smoke
deep
into my lungs
with the same
amount of
desperation
as the last one-
(twenty minutes earlier)
and when we
hung up the phone
I knew that you
were dialing her number,
calling “just to check in”
and swearing that
you’d been behaving like
a good little husband
who hadn’t spoken to me
in weeks
the truth of it all was-
you never knew me
I never loved you
and neither of us
cared.
Author notes
I don't know if this is what you were looking for at all, but it's what I thought of when I thought about BNW and the way love is nonexistant but sex is everywhere in that novel.
I won't be offended if you DQ it. Really, I won't.
kind yet critical critiques welcomed.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I really loved this poem. It reminded me of my sister, really. I guess it's just because she always seems to have a ciggarette to her lips and another train wreck of an unfaithful relationship to deal with. I've seen the pain she's gone through. I hope this sort of ordeal never happens to you.
~elizabeth~ -
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unfortunetly this piece isn't fiction. but yeah, it sounds like your sister and I are a good bit alike.
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I liked the second and the last one
Bravo.
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Second stanza=cloud nine. Brave New World=crazy novel. Your poem=fantastic.
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Nah, I wouldn't DQ this. Besides, when prompts are given, I think the contest holders should always allow room for interpretation. People get different things out of phrases/poems/etc.
Ah, those kinds of men...they never learn. The first stanza was brillant. A great intro.
Yes, sex is everywhere in that book. Such a strange world, that is.
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Your honest approach to every situation is awe inspiring my dear. I LOVED this. These are the kind of thoughts we hide inside - fearful of judgement and more than that of the truth. You show no fear - excellent way to be.
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oh gosh, I just love this my dear...
so wonderful...
YOU ARE SO TALENTED MY DEAR...oh my golly...
the ending was ammmmazing.
the truth of it all was-
"you never knew me
I never loved you
and neither of us
cared."
fuck. that was just so great. love you.
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