Poor carrier careworn, too soon comes the morn,
when on your back, one thousand doubts borne.
In ones regret, burden's unbalanced heaviness;
bending tolerances strained to stress, mightily implode.
As one thousand old scars, fresh torn, nightly are exposed.
Freeing wetness, gathering memories, once more a river forms below,
where on deep water scarlet flows, through irons evaporating mist;
seeking to leave alone, this hollow, one thousand lonely echoes go.
Deeply inhaling, only their breaths they follow ironies corrode.
These rusting smells they call a rose.
Poor, carrier careworn, too soon comes the morn.
When behind your back, stumbling cares, the entangling mess you bear,
only to once more fall, specters of almost yea, one thousand lonely ghost.
Even as you feigned unaware, embraced in muscle memories, ensnared
welcoming fears parlayed, eyes in front, strain's straightforward glare.
Poor carrier careworn, too soon comes the morn.
When in front of you, so much too hold, still hopes resolve is owed
As one thousand scars refresh, smoothly they renew;
you know textures will still separate, warm skin from cold.
Twilight will still divide, today from tomorrows,
until finally, dawning’s parched thirsts engulfed
poor carrier careworn.
I awoke.
Michael Perritano
Author notes
1000 doubts...one regret. old relationship festered as a wraith(s), returning every night.
A contest entry
- Your Poetic Soul by poet2angels.
700 points, ended October 11, 2007, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - lotsa points!!!! (extended time! I want as many entries as possible!) by DogTagz-TheJalapeno.
800 points, ended August 9, 2008, 52 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewritten contest for all by serenity silvermoon.
490 points, ended January 30, 90 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prompt by Zeprina-Jaz.
700 points, ended March 18, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Horrible Nightmares by Darkend.
650 points, ended March 29, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Distract Me by JeannieD Hunter.
900 points, ended August 12, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Little Motivation by WuzGood.
1500 points, ended October 20, 33 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites. by Antebellum.
400 points, ended November 14, 201 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Great write! I like the flow and the imagery was great! I really enjoyed reading this, thanks and best of luck in the contest!
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WuzGood-right on thank you...peace
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I think the reader can take this poem
upon themselves by the way it leads
their thoughts. Very creative way
to describe the past and how it
now impacts. Well done.
Thanks for entering my contest.
~Jeannie -
"Twilight will still divide, today from tomorrows,
until finally, dawning’s parched thirsts engulfed
poor carrier careworn.
I awoke."
wow. love this ending.
thanks so much for taking the time to enter,
goodluck -
This was very interesting, though it took me awhile to follow the flow. Thank you for entering my contest.
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I liked this bunches! It was so awesome! Keep up the great work and good luck in the contest, my friend! Thanks for a great share!
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'embraced in muscle memories' This was an excellent line, and one of my favourites, but there is so much more in there that I enjoyed! A great write. Well done and thank you for entering.
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thank you Zeprina...I imagined a relationship gone really bad where one word-sorry- was never spoken and it haunted this man-instead of dealing with his nightmares he ran and so the dreams re-appeared every night to haunt him again...forgiveness is a powerful thing...peace
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this is good, but no my fav
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I love this. As a song writer i wish to turn it into a song, but as a human, i dont steal. If i have permission, would you let me? I'd hate to ask, i understand if you won't, it seems no tune can ever capture the words.
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Complicated... But Understandable.
To me your writing is highly complicated...
But after reading it again it was what I anticipated.
To me it kind of seems...
The "One Thousands Ghosts" was in the characters dream.
Complicated but solid...
But a gold it will not forbid.
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Wow that was really good. Good job. Good luck on the contest!
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wow..great rhyme and flow..thanx so much for sharing..and best of luck in the contest..blessings..namaste.
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Nice piece, horrid thing to have happen every night. Good luck in the contest
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I imagine this would kill me too if it were to come back to haunt me everynight as I'm sure it would.
Thanks for entering. =]
Rain--x
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Very interesting poem but it is really really good I enjoyed reading it dear I will have to read some more of your stuff
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Not too bad at all has a nice sing songy rhythm to it but it is very good. You guys are not going to make my job easy
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Much deserving of a cup!!!
I really loved this poem. And I also loved the title! GRabbed me from the start!!!
Becks
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Congrats!
You won HM and you are in the finals. I will send you a link to round 3. You DO NOT need to enter round 2
TY!
Lynda
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this is so intense and beautifully written with wonderful imagery and emotion...This is amazing
Lynda
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