Within forsaken stockades,
rested soldiers in solitude.
Watching a simple world,
make past meltdowns.
Glazed guides,
will but never see.
Author notes
prompt: falling through fault lines
I didn't mean this to end up in the whole soldier territory, I'm anti-war, so I guess it works, but if you're not I didn't mean to offend or anything.
A contest entry
- PIF Quickie by seraphim shock.
500 points, ended October 4, 2007, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I can see why this won gold. those short few lines tell it all. Nice one cousin.
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Congrats on your hardware. It may be me, but the second couplet is confusing, the first and third were find and I enjoyed the piece overall, just a little offset by the second. Well done.
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Grats on your well-earned gold! Your poem was exquisite!
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This is beautiful and an excellent take on the prompt. Excellent job!! Best wishes to you
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wow. politics is not what i saw coming, but this is beautiful. I am anti war, so this is no problem, but even if i wasn't, i would love this. the second stanza is amazing. this left me speechless.
great job. -
Prompt: "falling through fault lines"
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