Each year the trees all tell tales
Of how our lifespans carry on.
We cannot ignore the truth;
There will be a denouement.
When we arrive at the prime of life,
Our journey begins to decline.
Luscious greens in the summer breezes
Give way to autumn waving summer goodbye.
Our leaves turn many colors
As life begins to drain
And little by little, with every storm,
Our leaves fall with the rains.
By autumn's end, no life can be
Detected by any means.
Skeletons of memories are all that are left.
Death shall befall even kings and queens.
Through the frost and ice of winter
Some of us hibernate.
Others, I am displeased to say,
Do not sleep, but, in the earth, decay.
But what is this I see?
The cold will come to an end!
Spring brings regeneration!
All is not lost, my friend.
For God has seen fit to show us,
Through the life cycle of trees,
That, although at times, we seem to die,
A newly formed bud will give birth to new dreams.
Author notes
I'd rather, if I win the contest, message you my first and last name if that's all right. I just have creepy feelings about the world knowing my name when the world is behind a computer monitor!
- The Commenting Community group list • next in list
A contest entry
- LOTS AND LOTS OF POINTS by God is my reality.
900 points, ended October 7, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - picture prompt by Liquid memories.
575 points, ended November 8, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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omg! i really love this poem it reminds me of a famous poet
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I like the comparison you made. Very thoughtful. And the ending...bringing forth a hope of new life and new dreams. I like that.
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I'm glad it ended well. I was wondering why such a nice poem was going to end with death and barren trees! Great imagery and thought behind this.
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I don't know if it was intentional, but I thought the rhyme of "end" and "friend" gave a nice climactic touch to the sudden hopeful turn of this poem. "Trees" and "dreams" sounded well together as well, giving it a soft note to end on.
Very dark starting out and very appropriate for today. I am freezing and earlier I was circling around a poem idea about hibrenation in a metaphorical way, so I felt a little connected to this as I read it. -
very nice. success to you.
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Liked the seasons and how you write about them in these lines - easy to follow, easy to read and understand. Can see why this took the gold in this contest. Way to go.
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Ah, the message of the seasons lol. Nothing like nature for a little inspiration, eh? I love that you used the word denouement - it's a lovely word, and people just don't use it enough lol. A couple of suggestions...I'd like to see what happens if you try breaking this into stanzas. For the sake of your readers mostly lol. Right now it's just a big block of text, and that can be intimidation to some people. I noticed that you didn't use rhyme at the beginning, and then started to...was there a reason for that? I think in poetry, consistency is key. Ok, maybe not lol...but in the form of a poem I feel like it is. Same thing with meter - it varies a lot. If you're trying to make it loosely rhyming and metered, work to make it seem more accidental and flowing; if you're trying to make a metered form, try tightening things up and finding the rythmn. Hope that helps! And congrats on the gold!
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Yeah, my meter sucks! We're learning about it in English, so I might get better. I'll break it into chunks like you said; great idea. I thought I was rhyming at the beginning...I think my bad meter threw it off. Thanks for the suggestions!
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Beautiful
You can almost feel the wood groaning, as it leaves are shed and its sap ceases its flow. -
This is so stinking good. I like it a lot. I like how toward the middle there is no hope, then at the end spring comes. My favorite season is winter though. I like this poem a lot. It was beautifully written
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...this is far from your usual style, my dear friend. I like it, it's light and airy...beautiful.
Irrylath -
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Aw, merci, mon ami. I won a gold trophy for it! Aren't you proud of me?
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