Gut me, shoot me, rape me, pollute me.
So I don't have to be alone, tired of living
by the phone. Let's make our love real.
Lets' begin a love we can feel.
How I love you beautiful face.
It sends my heart to a heavenly place.
How I long to hold you in my arms.
And keep you from all life's harms.
I will love you forever and a day.
In my heart you will always stay.
How gorgeous you are in my eyes.
More radiant than any sun-filled sky.
Please my heart come be with me.
My life wither's without my bride-to-be.
How fare away you are this night.
If only I had the gift of sparrow's flight.
To be with you forever more.
My love,my breath,the one I adore.
So say you'll allways' be my wife.
And bring me above my heartripping strife.
It's so dark without you near.
Oh my love, please be here.
Bring your light to this shadow's life
My love, please be my wife.
Author notes
I know it's crappy sorry....
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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No, I didn't think it was crappy! I little emo maybe, but I still like it. The first part was a little odd, I wasn't exactly thinking about love. However, I didn't see love as this poem's main theme, maybe obsession? You have some good ideas here, keep working at it. Don't take this the wrong way, but the rhyming, in MY opinion, was a little cheesy. *ducks as hellbound shadow throws a chair* Other than that, you did well...I can see a bit of the Corpse Bride/Edward Scissorhands going on here!
Schmitty -
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on Forever
Yes, hindsight being 20/20, it was rather cheesy, though in my defense it was written rather a long time ago, and no, fear not, I'm not in the habit of throwing chairs at people, though books and cell phones might be considered, and yes on the Fate poem, I enjoy using rather obscure and archaic language because I do talk like that and because I find it rather enjoyable as a departure from the "street" that so many young people are using today, and yes "Forever was more about obsession as I did meet and break up with the one true love, and found out that love isn't as it is advertised, more of an illusion really, but yet couldn't get over her, so that was the theme, threaded through the body of it.
as an afterthought, nice image Arthas is indeed the One. True. King
(I spend far too many hours playing that infernal game)
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This is cute and evil in it's own little way. It's a awesome write.
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romance touches within the wind where true love is found and celebrated along life's path!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill
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i like this poem. i am guessing that the girl does not live there??? ne way. good job my friend.
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This is not crappy! this is really really good! I love the way you wrote this! I love the story behind it... and even the pain and sadness behind it... you have done a very good job penning this! I really do love it! keep up your amazing work! glad to see something newer from ya!
Crimson -
No,it's quite beautiful && charming...loving the rhyme...
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waiting maybe is worth it.
Time will tell...but when...
best,
Neri
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I know you're tired of waiting for her but sometimes that's all we can do and no, it's not crappy at all. I think it's great.
here's another hug for backup
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We meet again!! Smiling here...
After the first three lines, this poem speaks well of love!
The message of tender feelings for your love object is much admired. 
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