you promised to always love me
you promised to keep my heart safe from harm
now your the one filled with glee
and it's my heart on alarm.
you said you would never cheat
you said she wasn't the one for you
i feel so worn and beat
this is alot to have to go through.
im the one alone now
shes the one having your kid
i want to be there for you,i just dont know how
you said it wasn't anything i did.
if i didn't do anything wrong
then why do i feel so dead
i thought our love would last long
but i guess i'll have to get used to being alone instead.
Author notes
this is kind of personal because some of this poem really hits home...but anyways just tell me what you think
i have sweet liar and life will end but why do we have to in the contest with this piece.
A contest entry
- Missing You by TheStupidLamb.
900 points, ended December 2, 2007, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1709 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-Write MadNess by Mango Memories.
400 points, ended July 26, 195 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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guess whattt!!!!!!!!!
It hit home with me too!
Well done, this was perfect in portraying your emotion !
I really really really enjoyed reading this!
Thankyou for submitting your poem into my contest
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Thanks for your entry and good luck!
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really good. i feel like i am you in your situation. great write.
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thanks for entering my contest, i'm glad you took the prompt quite personally. good luck
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line three *you're
line eight *a lot (and not a sophisticated choice to begin with)
i dont like the abab. it wasnt metrical, making me race to the rhyme rather than enjoy the words. the whole piece seemed a little unsophisticated and forced at times.
your take on the prompt was fine, delving into the personal connotations it has for your life, etc. i was just unimpressed. -
not trying to be mean!
It was nice but "end" and "dead" do not rhyme and "wasnt nothing" is a double negative with no aposteraph.Plus it seemed short!But I liked it, very insightful!!!
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