we were naked
September fruits
immune to the knife:
you,
a holiday
marked in red,
freshened my lungs
but my silence
still spoke
of him
Author notes
Written October 4, 2007
Dienush
In a list
A contest entry
- silence (invite only) by Nicolette.
1150 points, ended October 26, 2007, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - First step to being a featured Poet by W B Burkholder.
300 points, ended November 11, 2007, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pimp up my free verse by leander.
400 points, ended January 6, 2008, 48 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - see not the flame, know the artist, and understand blood. (invite only) by apples fell.
400 points, ended September 25, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Ah, a very beautiful poem, especially in reference to fruit, silence, and September. There is no way you could have not done justice to this poem.
So very beautiful!
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fantastic poem
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simple and beautiful. good luck in the contest.
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I see why he has you as a fav...Very amazing. And good luck in the contest! ~Stacey~
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wow...this is top stuff write here,lol. amazing write and good luck in the contest and congrats on all the old silvers *hugs*
Stephanie ♥
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No wonder you have chosen this one. Why do I find this so much more different for you? Perhaps it is the tone and it's just so down to earth...If that makes any sense. Not that your other poems are in outer space, but there is something so profound involving the fruit imagery and how you have captured that textured quality. I would prefer to see one of those "my" words gone...Preferably the second one, as it would read fine without it. But really, this is a very strong piece of writing. Small and concise and pretty damn excellent.
Good luck in the contest.
;
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this was just beautiful! plain and simple! i love al the emotion in this! i wish you the best of luck in the contest!
NineTailedFox -
I don't know what to say about this one to be honest... except that I'm definately considering this one! what a most beautiful piece of art you wielded here!
thanks for this entry as well!
Leander -
content 7
vocabulary 9
accuracy 7.6
creativity 7.2
theme 7
originality 6.8
totals-44.6 -
and oh wow -
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Thanks.
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Thanks for your entry
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Beauty in words my friend...beauty in words.
Becky
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Thanks for your nice comment
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wow. I don't know how I missed this one. This is incredible. I tend to ramble on (in life and in poetry!) so I'm always so impressed when someone can say so much and make me feel so deeply, without really saying a lot at all. In TWENTY-FIVE WORDS you echoed more emotion than I've seen in a lot of pieces with twenty-five LINES. BRAVO.
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Thank you.
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I loved this poem right from the moment I first read it. Wonderful poetry, Diana - thank you so much and congrats on a well-deserved trophy.
~ Nicolette
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Thanks
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Brilliant use of language and so easy to see how with found a silver! A bookmark and favouritisation I think
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AH - oops. Your are already a favourite - sowwy, thought the poem title was the author name *snort*
I go now ...
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Thanks
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Thank you for commenting my poem!
I love how in so few words you portray a beautiful and hard silence. Poetry can really touch the heart, and I agree with Nicolette, the background really does enhance this peice of work! -
This is indeed beautiful and somehow the soft lilac background enhanced the feeling of silence here. I liked the brevity of this poem which shows that we don't need a thousand words to write good poetry. I liked this...soft and with an ache that moves mountains within.
Thank you so much for this entry.
~ Nicolette
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very beautiful... the ache of love and something about the Fall, when changes come...
very nice piece
many thanks for entering this contest and good luck too
G.x -
Yes, I agree with you, sometimes silence could speak much more that a million words.
~Sonja~
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What a lovely piece
This is magical, I'm so taken by the image it presses upon me. Great, just great
Terry
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