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redress

in every story
i have told over the scope
of these three and something years,
i think you've been the villain
in every sentence, and
every scene.

but now
that i've been thinking,
i want a thing from you; time to let

me air out

the worst of me, and
rewrite

errored history.

 

 

 



i know
you weren't as bad
as i may
think;

in the long- hand version
of my memories, toothy smiles
and misplaced hair

are all i can
retain.

i see the kind that cares
just in all the wrong
and minute ways.

i see the dazed and listless
eyes

that only grow
from empathy; baby, you're the forest
through the trees.

and now that i've been thinking,
i want a thing from you; time to let me right
my wrongs

and then
come back to

you;

 

the forest

for the trees. 

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • vertigo beat
    October 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I feel stupid even commenting your work sometimes.


  • FindingFaith
    October 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You are so talented. Your line breaks are always perfect. I like what Cat said. I was just commenting on one of Melissa's pieces and said that I think I grew up without ever realizing I did. It happens to us all. We cross the line without ever knowing...Hope all is well...


  • BlueNote27
    October 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    One of your simpler, but stronger poems as far as getting a message across. Again with the strong ending!

    This would make an excellent song.


  • Cat gold member
    October 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    sometimes without even realizing it- we grow up..


    wonderful

    m


  • Mr E
    October 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    a bit more straightforward than what I'm used to from you. no less beautiful though. gentle, longing. carved poetically precise. you one bad motha-marrow.


  • DrunktankLullaby
    October 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ohhhh yes! this was beautiful. there was so much longing and desperation in every line and word. very well done. especially the first stanza!!! wow. loved that the most.


  • M0ofi3
    October 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Another Plane...

    ...to shoot for.

    Feeling very far behind, now. This is such an impressive write, I can't help but wonder what you'll be writing as you mature further. My hope is that many will see what you can do, you have incredible potential.


  • layla.
    October 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I wish it goes to the 'right' place. Honest [powerful] and brilliant.
    Take care bro.
    -Esha♥

1 - 9 of 9